-Bumwe mu buryo ushobora gukoresha mugihe ushaka gutereta

Bumwe mu buryo ushobora gukoresha igihe ushaka gutereta
Friday 19 August 2011

Niba ushaka gutereta hari uburyo bwinshi wakoresha muri icyo gikorwa. Reba iruhande rwawe hari abakobwa bicaye bategereje icyayi, hari abarimo gukoresha interinete hafi yawe, hari abo murimo kugendana mu muhanda , niba rero ufite gahunda ushaka n’umuntu mwaba muri kumwe ntiwirirwe ujya kure menya ko muri abo bari hafi yawe ushobora gukuramo umwe.
Ushobora kujya ahantu hahurira ingaragu cyangwa abantu batararushinga
Niba wumva ushaka gutereta ugomba kujya utemberera ahantu hahurira ingaragu nyinshi, ni ukuvuga ahantu hahurira abakobwa n’abasore batararushinga, kuko akenshi usanga aho hantu hari abantu benshi muhuje gahunda. Numara kubona umuntu muhuriye ahantu nkaho ujye uhita utangira gutekereza ahandi hantu ushobora kuzamutembereza.
Kugira ngo ukomeze gahunda ujye ubanza wibaze niba usobonukiwe n’ibyo urimo
Ubundi gutereta ni byiza kandi birashimisha iyo ubikora asobanukiwe neza. Aha rero kugira ngo bikorohere ni uko ugomba kumenyana n’abantu bashya, cyane cyane igihe wahinduye ibyo wakoraga. Igihe cyose utigize umuntu ujunjamye ntuzatinda kubona umuntu utangira kukwiyumvamo nawe wabona byashoboka ugahita utangira umushinga wawe.
Niba ushaka gutereta ukanashaka kwemeza umuntu ujye ugerageza kwereka abantu ko ubuzima bwawe buhinduka bizatuma buri umwe yishimira kuvugana nawe kuko burya muri kamere y’umuntu akunda umuntu utera imbere, ni ukuvuga umuntu utaguma aho ari. Ikindi kintu ugomba kumenya ni uko ubuzima bwo gutereta kimwe n’ubw’urukundo butuma hari ibihe udashobora kuzibagirwa mu buzima bwawe kubera ibyo wagiye ukora, bimwe bikagushimisha cyane , ibindi bikagutangaza cyangwa se bikakubabaza.
Menya kwiyitaho ugira isuku ku mubiri wawe
Niba uri umugabo cyangwa umugore ugomba kugerageza kwiyitaho umubiri wawe ugahora usa neza ku buryo uwakubona atahita atangira kukwibazaho. Niba uri umugore gerageza isura yawe igumane isuku kimwe n’imisatsi yawe. Gusa, kugira isuku k’umubiri ntibivuga kwitukuza ngo uzasange umuntu yahindutse ukundi ahubwo ni ukumenya amavuta ajyanye n’uruhu rwawe kandi ataruhindura. Umuhungu agomba kumenya igihe cyo kwiyogosheshereza naho ufite umusatsi akamenya kuwusokoza.
Menya kwambara ibijyanye n’imiterere yawe
Hari ukuntu umuntu yishuka akavuga ngo hagezweho imyenda runaka akumva nawe yayambara. Ni byo koko ushobora kuyambara ariko ntiwiyibagize ko ushobora kuyambara ntikubere kubera imiterere yawe. Ni uko rero shaka imyambaro ikubereye kugira ngo nugira uwo ujya kubaza izina ujye umuganiriza agusubize aho kugirango ate umwanya atekereza ku myenda wambaye. Ikindi kintu ugomba guha agaciro ni ukumenya amabara akubera kuko burya abantu bose ntibaberwa n’amabara amwe. Kugira ngo wemeze rero ni uko ugomba kureba imyenda ikubereye ifite n’amabara yenda gusa n’umubiri wawe cyangwa aberanye nawo; gusa icyiza ni uko wahitamo amabara atijimye.
Ugomba kunoza imivugire yawe
Akenshi gutereta ntibisaba ibintu byinshi, ntibigora kndi birashimisha. Imivugire rero iza mu bintu bya mbere bifasha igihe umuntu arimo gutereta. Niba uzi kuvuga menya ko gutereta bitazakurushya; ni ukuvuga ko ugomba kumenya amagambo uvuga n’igihe ugomba kuyavugira, ariko na none wabanje kumenya neza uwo uganira nawe, ukamenya ubwoko bw’ibiganiro akunda; niba akunda ibiganiro bisetsa akaba ari byo byinshi umuganiriza, niba akunda ibiganiro bituje akaba ari byo umuhata, niba akunda umuntu uvuga yifashishije ibimenyetso ukabikora uko, gutyo gutyo ushobora gusanga atakibona amahoro mutari kumwe.
Kumenya kuyobora ibiganiro
Niba urimo gutereta umuntu ntuzemere ko mupfa kuvuga ibintu byose mubonye kuko ushobora kumara umunsi wowe nta kintu ugezeho, ahubwo wowe menya uburyo wamuyobora mu biganiro kugira ngo uze kugwa ku ngingo washakaga. Buri kiganiro kigomba kugira intego kandi ntugatangire kuganira wabigize ibintu bikomeye ujye utangirira wabyoroheje noneho n’ugera hagati uze kumubaza ibibazo bikomeye kandi biganisha k’ucyo ushaka kugeraho.

-Kuba ari mayibobo y’umukobwa bituma akora imibonano mpuzabitsina atabishaka

Biragoye kubona umukobwa wo mu muhanda aba bazwi ku izina rya mayibobo mu Rwanda, nyamara mu Mujyi wa Kigali mayibobo z’abakobwa birirwa mu muhanda bakanawuraramo witegereje neza wababona ku bwinshi.
Mukansanga Jeannette uzwi ku izina rya Nyirabukara kubera uruhu rwe, ni umugore w’imyaka 27, aba mu muhanda wo mu gasantere ka Kimironko, Umurenge wa Kimironko mu Karere ka Gasabo ho mu Mujyi wa Kigali. Amaze imyaka 10 yibera mu muhanda.
Ni mu kiganiro yagiranye n’Umunyamakuru wa Igihe.com, Gerard Gitoli Mbabazi.
Igihe.com : Wavuye iwanyu ryari ?
Nyirabukara : Navuye iwacu igihe hari hakiriho amakomini ubu sinzi uko basigaye bahita ariko bahitaga i Kibungo kuko ndabyibuka nageze hano uyu muhanda wa Kimironko ukiri ibitaka.

Mukansanga Jeannette

Igihe.com : Kuki wataye iwanyu ukaza mu mujyi ?
Nyarabukara : Nahavuye kuko iwacu nta buzima nahabonaga kandi n’umugabo twari tumaranye imyaka itatu yabonye ntwite ahita anyirukana ngo ‘genda uzayibyarire iwanyu’. Nabayeho nabi ku buryo utabyumva kugeza n’ubwo abazungu bo mu kigo cy’imfubyi cy’i Kabarondo baje bakantwara umwana nabyaye.
Igihe.com : Kugeza ubu nturasubira iwanyu se ?
Nyirabukara : Muri 2002 nagiye kureba umwana wanjye ariko nageze ku kigo aho arererwa baranyihakana ngo nta mwana nabahaye, ubu shenge umwana wanjye azi ko ari imfubyi kandi afite se na nyina nta kabuza na mama ubu atekereza ko byarangiye kandi narabuze uko nsubirayo.
Igihe.com : Ntukumbura umwana wawe se cyangwa umubyeyi wawe ?
Nyirabukara : Ndabakumbura nyine none se nkore iki ko nabuze tike insubizayo ? Umuntu aba yarabaye igiti sha.
Igihe.com : Kuki se nibura utacuruje agataro nk’abandi bagore ?
Nyirakamana : Nkigera i Kigali, nabuze igishoro mpita niyemeza kubaho gikoboyi.
Igihe.com : Mbwira uko ubuzima bwawe buba bwifashe ku munsi n’ikigutunga ?
Nyirabukara : Ubundi nirirwa aha unsanze, simpava mba ngogereye kuri puberi kugirango ntoragure ibiryo byo muri resitora baje kumena cyangwa ibipapayi na bya avoka baba bataye kuko nanga gusaba. Nkirirwa aha niganirira n’abakozi b’isuku n’abakarani kugeza batashye.
Igihe.com : Iyo batashye wowe bigenda gute ?
Nyirabukara : Iyo batashye ntembera aho hose kugeza saa tanu cyangwa saa sita z’ijoro zigeze kuko ndara ku kabari ko kwa Laburenti ; ni hano hafi y’isoko rya Kimironko. Ubwo njyayo muri ayo masaha kuko ndara mu kazu bokerezamo inyama, nkabyuka mu ma saa kumi n’ebyiri batarambona, ariko abazamu baho bazi ko mparara.

Nyirabukara yirirwa yiganirira n'abakarani

Igihe.com : None se ko ubana n’abasore mu muhanda ndetse n’aho urara, ku byerekeranye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina ubwo… ?
Nyirabukara : Ntakubeshye naje nzicko nje kubonera amakiriro i Kigali, niyemeza kutagira undi mugabo tubonana ariko nabonye bitashoboka kuko nsabwa na benshi kandi nanjye mba mbishaka. Aho bigeze aha nyikora kuko nshaka icyo kurya, nyikorana n’abakarani, n’undi uje tubyumvikanaho akampa nka magana atanu cyangwa igihumbi.
Igihe.com : None se ko utagira aho uba muyikorera he ?
Nyirakamana : Tuyikorera iwabo cyangwa tukikinga mu gihuru.
Igihe.com : None ntuba ufite ubwoba bwo kwandura SIDA ?
Nyirabukara : Hashize iminsi mvuye muri gereza i Gikondo namazemo ibyumweru bibiri n’igice. Bamfashe hamwe n’izindi mayibobo. Baradupimye basanga ndi muzima, ubu nta muhungu ushobora kunyurira nta prudence.
Igihe.com : Nk’ubu woga ryari ko mbona… ?
Nyirabukara : Mperuka koga…umenya hashize ibyumweru nka bitatu sinibuka. Sindahindura iyi myenda kuva bakayimpa kuko nta yindi ngira, nayambaye …hashize amezi atatu.
Si uyu mugore wirirwa mu muhanda hafi y’isoko rya kimironko kuko hari na bagenzi be bandi baba bari kumwe muri aka gace batagira icyo bakora.

-Nyuma y’uko umuhungu n’umukobwa bahuye bwa mbere, ni nde uterefona undi ?

Iki ni ikibazo kitabonerwa igisubizo gihamye kuko kenshi buri wese yasubiza ukwe, yaba umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa. Nyuma yo kuganira hagati y’umuhungu n’umukobwa, iyo muhanye nimero kugira ngo muzongere muhure byanze bikunze hagomba kuboneka umwe uhamagara undi ; none ni inde ukwiye guhamagara bwa mbere ?
Umuntu wa mbere nasabye inama kuri iki kibazo yambwiye ko we atanabitekerezaho kuko niba mwashimanye, si ngombwa ko habaho kuvuga ngo uyu arahamagara cyangwa abireke, gusa ku bwanjye nkurikije n’umuco w’abakobwa b’Abanyarwanda (wo kutavuga icyo batekereza ku bintu nk’ibi) mbona ari umuhungu wagafashe iyo telefoni agahamagara kuko ku mpamvu zitandukanye, umuntu uhamagaye undi bwa mbere niwe akenshi uba ugaragaje ubushake bwo gukomeza ubucuti bushya.
Uko mbibona, nk’uko ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwagiye bubigaragaza, abakobwa batinya guseba, icyo urubyiruko rw’ubu rwita “indobo” ; byagaragaye ko abakobwa bazitinya kurusha abahungu, ibi bikaba biri mu mpamvu numva bigoye ko umukobwa ariwe wahindukira agahamagara umuhungu ngo bongere bahure.
Ariko n’ubundi biragaragara cyane ko abahungu rimwe na rimwe batinya cyangwa se batinda guhamagara bwa mbere abakobwa bitewe n’icyo benshi bita itegeko ry’iminsi itatu (sinzi aho ryavuye n’amateka yaryo) ; iri tegeko rero ryemeza ko byanze bikunze, umuntu muhuye bwa mbere uba ugomba kongera kumuhamagara mu minsi itatu, ariko muri iyi minsi yose hari igihe ukora ishyano bitewe kenshi n’aho mwahuriye.
Hari igihe utegereza iyi minsi ikakugwa nabi kuko ushobora gusanga hari undi wayikoresheje neza, cyane cyane ko benshi mu bantu nabajije kuri iyi ngingo banemeza ko ari umuhungu uba ugomba guhamagara umukobwa nyuma yo guhura bwa mbere.
Abakobwa kenshi byagaragaye ko batinya ikibazo cyo kuba basanga umuhungu afite indi nshuti, ibitekerezo byo kumva ko inshingano zose ari iz’umuhungu ko kumuhamagara bwa mbere bituma abona ko uri kumwirukaho.
Ku mpande zombi rero hashobora kubura uhamagara undi ariko si uko haba habayeho ikindi kibazo, haba ku muhungu cyangwa ku mukobwa iyo nta cyizere kinini gihari, mushobora guhitamo kudahamagarana kuko nta n’umwe muri mwe uba wizeye kudasubizwa inyuma.
Ntabwo twakwibagirwa ariko rero ko n’ubundi abantu atari kimwe, hari abakobwa bafata ikimasa amahembe bagahamagara mu minsi ya vuba, kandi si bibi... isi iri guhinduka

urwenya(kirundi)

Abamanuka


Hariho umugore yaje ava ruguru amanutse i bujumbura abona izuba ni ryose abaza mugenzi we ati: "Mbega iri zuba muribamwo gute hamwe nubu bushuhe?" Nyamugenzi we amubarira ati: "Ntubona ko twese tugenda twambaye amarori?"

Haheze iminsi aja mumangazini kugura marori ahura n'umudandaza waho ara mubaza ati: "Mwoba mugurisha amarori?" Ara mubaza nawe ati: "ushaka amarori yizuba?"

Nyamugore aramwihweza aca amubwira ati: "aho witegereje usanga nizuba rikeneye amarori...????"

Inyabu yacitse umurizo

Umusi umwe Inyabu yagize ngo ija gufata imbeba, iba ari yo icakirwa n’umutego, umurizo uracika. Isubiye i muhira ibona izindi nyabu ziguma ziyiraba, zigaseka zose.

Ya nyabu irazikoranya ihagarara imbere yazo iti :

- Ndi n’ijambo ndababwira.

- Wovuga tukumva !

- Imirizo yacu iratugora. Iyo tugomba kwihisha, ntidukundira kwinyegeza rwose. Tugomba gufata imbeba, turayizungagiza zikaba zatwumvise. Twagenda naho tukayikwega canke tukayishinga, zikayibona. Kenshi na kenshi murabiraba na mwe umurizo ni wo ukunda gufatwa n’umutego. Jewe rero nanse ko umurizo wanje uzosubira kuja urangora, ndawuca. None namwe ndabagishije inama, ngo muze muyicishe mwese.

Zose zitwengera rimwe.

Inyabu nkuru muri zo, iyishura iti :

- Mbe kuva na kera na rindi, guhera kuri basokuru n’abasokuruza hari aho urumva ko imirizo yacu itugora? Canke muri twese ni nde yakuganyiye ko umurizo wiwe wamunaniye? Wagomba kwikura mu kabarerwa ngo twese tube ibicika murizo.

Iyo buba ubwumwe bwari ikindi.

High temperatures this summer have broken records — and spawned much whining — all over the country, but in Russian Siberia, where the images of snowy, frozen desolation usually come to mind, it’s actually quite lovely. According to the ten-day forecast that I’ve pulled up when writing this post, it’s mostly sunny skies, with highs in the mid-70s to mid-80s, with nighttime temperatures only dropping down to the mid-to-high-50s. This is ideal weather when exploring the wilderness of Siberia — specifically the Wild-Deer Streams Nature Park, about 60 miles southwest of the city of Yekaterinburg. Rafting Along the Serga River Rolling Down the Serga River. Photo: Erik R. Trinidad I had gone on a hiking and rowing excursion there, for a quick jaunt between cities along the Trans-Siberian Railway. Behind a monument unofficially denoting the divide between Europe and Asia, is a vast landscape of Siberian taiga forest — an ecological biome of coniferous forest between tundra and steppes, found in northern latitudes. Before me was a scene of green — very different from my thoughts blanketed in white — with the foliage of spruces, firs, and the occasional willow. Within this 50-sq.-mile park, I went with guides from the Yekaterinburg Guide Center to hike on trails, explore caves, and row in inflatable rafts along the Serga River. It was refreshing to know that not one person complained about weather that nice summer day in Siberia — although if I was there in the winter, I’m sure it’d be an entirely different story.

High temperatures this summer have broken records — and spawned much whining — all over the country, but in Russian Siberia, where the images of snowy, frozen desolation usually come to mind, it’s actually quite lovely. According to the ten-day forecast that I’ve pulled up when writing this post, it’s mostly sunny skies, with highs in the mid-70s to mid-80s, with nighttime temperatures only dropping down to the mid-to-high-50s. This is ideal weather when exploring the wilderness of Siberia — specifically the Wild-Deer Streams Nature Park, about 60 miles southwest of the city of Yekaterinburg.

Rolling Down the Serga River. Photo: Erik R. Trinidad

I had gone on a hiking and rowing excursion there, for a quick jaunt between cities along the Trans-Siberian Railway. Behind a monument unofficially denoting the divide between Europe and Asia, is a vast landscape of Siberian taiga forest — an ecological biome of coniferous forest between tundra and steppes, found in northern latitudes. Before me was a scene of green — very different from my thoughts blanketed in white — with the foliage of spruces, firs, and the occasional willow. Within this 50-sq.-mile park, I went with guides from the Yekaterinburg Guide Center to hike on trails, explore caves, and row in inflatable rafts along the Serga River. It was refreshing to know that not one person complained about weather that nice summer day in Siberia — although if I was there in the winter, I’m sure it’d be an entirely different story.

-Zimwe mu nama zagufasha kwirinda umunaniro

 

 
 Umunaniro ni ikintu kibaho mu buzima. Urakora, ukaruha, ukaruhuka, bugacya ugasubira mu kazi. Ariko iyo bigeze aho uwo munaniro ukabya burya biba byabaye ikibazo ku buzima bwawe. Hari abihutira gufata bimwe mu binyobwa bituma bagumana intege nk’ikawa, za Red Bull, n’ibindi cyangwa bakanafata imiti.
Nyamara mbere y’ibi byose, ushobora no gukoresha uburyo kamere. Dore zimwe mu nama twabasomeye mwakoresha mugatandukana n’umunaniro.
1 – Ifunguro rya nijoro ryoroshye
Si ngombwa ko nijoro urya byinshi. Ahubwo ujye uhitamo bimwe mu biribwa byifitemo intungamubiri zongerera umubiri ingufu ndetse na za vitamine. Ubundi bibe ari bike. Ngo kurya ibiryo byinshi kandi bikize mu ntungamubiri bibangamira ibitotsi byawe ari byo bya mbere bikurinda wa munaniro.
2 – Indyo yuzuye kandi igereranije
Indyo ufata igomba kuba yifitemo intungamubiri zihagije umubiri wawe ukeneye (za proteines, vitamine, imyunyu ngogozi …). Igihe umubiri wawe utifitemo intungamubiri ukeneye bizakubera intandaro yo gutangira kunanirwa
3 – Gusinzira neza
Ntuzakabye ngo igihe cyose ukimare usinziriye, ariko na none ntibikabure ngo usange uryama amasaha abiri ku munsi gusa. Ahubwo, wimenyereze igihe gihagije cyo kuruhuka gihoraho bitewe n’ubushobozi umubiri wawe ufite. Hari abakenera amasaha 6 ku munsi, abandi bagakenera 8, hari n’abageza ku 10. Mbese nawe uzarebe igihe usinzira ukabyuka wumva umeze neza, ube ari cyo ufata kandi bibe ibintu bihoraho.
4 – Kwiha ingengabihe ihoraho yo kuryama no kubyuka
NI byiza kwiha amasaha uryamiraho n’ayo ubyukiraho. Hari abo usanga uyu munsi baryamye saa yine, ejo bakaryama saa sita, ubundi saa moya. Ngo ibyo si byiza na gato. Ngo byakabaye byiza, nijoro, igihe utangiye kwayura, uhise ujya kuryama ako kanya utabanje gushakisha kurwana n’ibitotsi.
5 – Mu buriri siho ugomba gutangira gutekerereza ibibazo wagize uwo munsi
Ngo ntacyo bizakumarira nugera mu buriri ugatangira kwitekerereza ku bibazo wagize uwo munsi, uburyo Boss wawe yagutonganije, ibibazo by’amafaranga y’ishuri y’abana, ….Banza uruhuke usinzire. Buri kintu kigira igihe cyacyo.
6 – Ha abandi akazi bagufashe
Mu kazi, byose ntiwabyikorera ngo ubivemo. Jya ugirira icyizere abo mukorana, ugire ibyo ubashinga babikore nawe ubone uko uruhuka. Si wowe kamara aho ukora, n’abandi barabishoboye.
7 – Gira gahunda
Weekend zawe ntubona akanya ko kuruhuka uba wagiye gusura inshuti, guhaha, utunganya ibyo mu rugo wabuze uko ukora, gufasha abana za devoir (homeworks), utunganya za dosiye zo ku kazi utabonye uko urangiza, wagiye muri match, ureba za films nyinshi, utaha amakwe, wagiye mu kabari …. Mbese ku buryo ahubwo ku wa mbere hagera ufite umunaniro uruta uwo wari ufite ku wa gatanu. Jjya wiha gahunda, ugire na bimwe ukora mu minsi isanzwe urangije akazi. Si ngombwa ko byose ubikora muri weekend ngo ubure akanya ko gusinzira. Icyakora na none, ngo ugomba kugira ikintu ukora cyo kwishimisha muri weekend.
8 – Jya ukora sport
Umunaniro hari igihe uva no ku guhora wicaye ahantu hamwe akenshi hanafunganye. Muri iki gihe noneho akazi kenshi gasigaye kanakorerwa kuri computer, BYakabaye byiza igihe uvuye kuri ako kazi ukora ka sport gato cyangwa se ukanatembera ahantu hari umwuka mwiza.
9 - Relax
Igihe uvuye ku kazi, kunyarukira muri douche ugakaraba umubiri wose birafasha mu kuruhuka. Ushobora no gukora ya myitozo yo guhumeka ukitsa umwuka mu nda, ndetse na massage igihe ufite uwayigukorera cyangwa ufite ubushobozi bwo kujya aho bayikorera ukishyura. Bigabanya stress ndetse n’umunaniro. Kubyigomwa, ngo uba uhombye byinshi.

-ESE NI GUTE WABYIFATAMO IGIHE UMUKUNZI WAWE ARI KURE YAWE ?

 
Ukora i Butare incuti yawe ikorera mu Ruhengeri cyangwa se uba mu Rwanda uwo mukundana aba hanze y’ u Rwanda. Kandi murakundana cyane. Ni gute mushobora kurushaho gukundana mutitaye ku birometero bibatandukanya ?

Uzunva abakundana bakunda kuvuga ko gukundana umwe ari kure y’undi bitoroha akenshi bakanongeraho ko bitanashoboka abandi bakavugako bitanabaho cyane ko iyo ubona umukunzi wawe usanzwe ukunda cyane birushaho kuba byiza.
Gusa bishobora kubaho ko abakundana badahorana bitewe n’impanvu zitandukanye : akazi, amashuri, kwimuka kw’imiryango n’izindi mpamvu zitandukanye. Ibi rero ntibivuga ko mutandukanye burundu cyangwa se urukundo rwanyu ruciriye aha, nyamara hari uburyo mushobora kubyitwaramo maze mukamera nk’aho mukiri kumwe, mukirengagiza ibyo birometero bibatandukanya.
Mu bihe bya mbere ni ukwibaza ibijyanye n’imibanire yanyu wibanda mu gusubiza ibi bibazo :
 Ese tubona ibintu mu buryo bumwe ?
 Ese njye n’uyu muntu ni mubano ki dufitanye ?
 Ese koko turi incuti zisanzwe cyangwa se tuzageraho tunabane ?
 Ese koko buri wese ashobora kureka ibye akitangira urukundo rwacu bibaye ngombwa ?
Ibi bibazo buri wese ashoboye kubisubiza ukwe maze mukabihuriza hamwe byaba byiza cyane. Kandi mu bashije kubisubiza mu gitangira gukundana umwe kuba yaba kure y’undi ntacyo byaba bivuze cyane ko mwaba mwarabyemeranijwe mbere y’igihe.
Dore ibintu 10 bishobora gutuma imibanire yanyu iba myiza n’ubwo umwe yaba ari kure y’undi :
1.kubwizanya ukuri.
Mwemeye gukundana umwe ari kure y’undi. Urukundo rwanyu ruriyongereye. Mwese murakundanye pe. Dore ikintu noneho mwakagombye kwitaho : ukuri mu byo muvuga n’ibyo mukora.
Igihe muganira, mugomba kwitegura kuzana ingingo nziza kandi mukagirana ibiganiro bikomeye byubaka. Mukavugana byose ! Aha muzagira ngo muri kumwe nyamara umwe ari kure y’undi.
Ikindi ni uko niba imibanire yanyu ikunda kugaragaramo gusabana nta na rimwe muzagirana amakimbirane. Cyane ko iyo umwe ari kure byoroshye kuba wakwicecekera ariko kandi bikaba bitoroshye no kwiyunga igihe mwese mutari kumwe.
2.kwizera mugenzi wawe.
Kuba indahemuka ni kimwe mu bintu by’ibanze mu kwita ku rukundo rw’abantu batabana hafi, niba koko mubona imibanire yanyu ifite imbere heza ni byiza ko mwakwizerana ndetse mukabwirana amagambo agarurira buri umwe ikizere ndetse no kurushaho kwizerana, aha rero ntakindi cyo gukora uretse kuba umwe yabwira undi ko amukumbuye ko kandi azaza vuba ; urugero akaba yamubwira ati nzaza ku bunani, nzaza kuri Noheri, nzaza mu kwezi gutaha rwose byizere.
3. Itumanaho.
Gukunda ni ukwiyemeza gusangira byose n’uwo ukunda. Mugomba guteganya uburyo bwose bushoboka bwo kuganira cyangwa bwo gutumanaho. Mugashyiraho umwanya runaka, isaha runaka mugahamagarana kuri tel . mukohererezanya ubutumwa bwaba ubwa telefone cyangwa se amabaruwa asanzwe. Mukerekana ubushake mu kuhira urukundo rwanyu.
4. Igihe cyo kwiyitaho .
Gukundana umwe ari kure y’undi ni ugushaka igihe gihagije ntacyo ukora(temps libre). Ukaba washaka ibintu biguhuza ukabihugiraho igihe waba wamukumbuye bikaba byagufasha kubyitwaramo neza utagiye mu buriri ngo urembe ,ahubwo ugashaka ibintu ukora muri uwo mwanya ibyo bikubayeho,ugasoma ibitabo ,ugakora iyo sport maze igihe mwateganyije cyo kuvuganiraho cyagera mukaganira neza nta kibazo.
5. Gutungurana.
Urukundo rwanyu ruriyongereye ! Ni igihe cyo gutungura umukunzi wawe ukaba wamugenera impano runaka. Aha uzajya iwe maze niba koko ataritwaye neza akakubeshya naho uzahita ubimenya. Aha uzajyayo utamubwiye maze ubone igihe cyiza cyo kuba wamenya imyitwarire yagize igihe utari uhari, maze niba hari n’icyo wamuteguriye ube wanakimusigira maze wigendere naza nawe azatungurwa n’uburyo ibyo wabikoze arusheho kumva ko n’iyo udahari umuzirikana.
6. Ikoranabuhanga.
Kera nta koranabuhanga ryabagaho umuntu yakoreshaga iposta kugira ngo abe yatumanaho n’umukunzi we, ugasanga bifashe n’igihe kinini n’amakuru washakaga kumugezaho akazayabona yarabaye umuranzi. Gukundana umwe kure y’undi biragoye cyane nta tumanaho mukoresha gusa no kuza kwa telepfone n’ubundi buryo bwinshi butandukanye umuntu ashobora gukoresha e mail ndetse na za laptop ,skipe ndetse n’ibindi mushobora kuvugana n’incuti yawe igihe kirekire mukaba mwapanga gahunda nyinshi mutegura imbere hanyu mukoresheje iryo koranabuhanga.
7. Imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Buri kiremwa muntu gikenera ikindi muri kamere ya muntu ; nyamara urukundo rw’abantu batari hamwe ntiruha amahirwe aba bakundana kugirango bagire icyo bimarira . Akenshi umwe ashobora gukumbura undi hakabaho n’ubwo yakwifuza ko bahura bakaba bakora iyo mibanano ariko kandi umwe atitonze ashobora kugwa mu mutego wo guca inyuma mugenzi we kuko yaba abishatse batari kumwe, bityo hafi ye haba hari undi wabigeragezaga akaba yamugusha muri uwo mutego. Ni byiza rero kuba wahamagara umukunzi wawe ukamubwira uko byakugendekeye maze akaba yakwihanganisha ndetse akaguha inama z’uko wabyitwaramo cyane ko mushobora no kuganira gusa maze uko kumwifuza kukaba kwashira.
8. kwirinda amabwire .
Gukundana kw’abari kure, na none ni icyizere gihagije hagati yawe n’incuti yawe. Ni itegeko rikomeye rigenga urukundo rwanyu . Niba rwose uwo mukundana utamugirira ikizere gihagije ushobora kuzatungurwa no kuba watangira kumukeka wenda unamubeshyera bitewe n’amagambo y’abantu, nibyiza kugenzura ibyo ubwirwa hato ejo utazisenyera bitari ngombwa.
9.Kwirinda umurinzi .
Aba kundana bamwe na bamwe hariho igihe bashyiraho bagenzi babo ngo bazabacungire abakunzi babo, urugero nk’umuhungu ugiye i Burayi agasiga mugenzi we wari incuti ye ngo uzajye uncungira uriya mukobwa hatazagira umuntwara ,ati yewe n’icyo azajya akenera cyose ujye ukimumenyera, aha rero biragoye kuko umukobwa ashobora gucikwa kuko umuri kure akaba yakwifatira wa wundi wasize umurindishije kandi atabishakaga, umukobwa nawe agomba gukora attention kugirango bitazamubaho akaba yakunda mugenzi w’incuti ye. Kandi niba koko mukundana bihagije si na ngobwa gushyiraho uwo murinzi kugirango ejo atazangiza urukundo rwanyu, rwose si byiza na mba.
10. intego .
Gukundana umwe ari kure y’undi bisaba imbaraga nyinshi ,bisaba guhinga cyane. Ibibahuza bigomba kuba ibimenyetso by’urukundo rwanyu, ibyo buri umwe akunda bikabera undi ikimenyetso cy’urukundo amufitiye . Ni byiza kandi guha agaciro ubuzima bwanyu buri imbere, ku buzima bwanyu mwembi igihe kizaza, mukiha intego ntakuka yo kugenderaho hato ejo mutazahemukirana. Mukora ibishoboka byose n’ubwo umwe ari kure y’undi ariko rwose mukagerageza kugira ngo n’igihe muzaba muhuye muzamere nk’aho imishinga mwateguraga mwayiteguraga muri kumwe. Kandi umunyarwanda yaravuze ngo kure y’amaso si kure y’umutima , uzangaye gutinda ntuzanagaye guhera

-IBINTU 10 BISHOBORA GUTUMA ABANTU BABIRI BAKUNDANA BAKOMEZA URUKUNDO RWABO

 
1. Kubabarirana Iki ni ikintu gikomeye cyane mu rukundo. Kurya nta zibana zidakomana amahembe, kubabarira ni ingabo y’ingenzi mu rukundo kugirango rurambe, bikaba bigoboka abakundana igihe habayeho kubwirana nabi no kugira ibyo mupfa. Kubabarira bituma murushaho kubana neza, kandi bikagarura ikizere hagati yanyu.
2. Guhitamo igihe kiza Igihe ni ikintu cy’ingenzi mu buzima bw’abantu bwa buri munsi. Niyo mpamvu guteganya igihe cyanyu mu bikorwa byanyu bya buri munsi, mukishyiriraho icyo bita horaire cyangwa se timetable mu minsi yose biba byiza cyane. Aha ariko mukibanda cyane ku kintu cyo guhana umwanya wo kuganira, wo gutembera ndetse no kwibutsanya ibintu bimwe na bimwe byabashimishije kuva mukimenyana.
3. Kuganira Kuganira ni ikintu cy’ingenzi cyane mu gutuma couple yanyu ikomera, umwe akareka kwigunga ukwe ahubwo buri wese akabwira undi ikimubabaza, akamubwira uburyo abona ibintu, akamwereka ibitamushimisham kandi biba iby’ingenzi cyane no gutega matwi uwo murimo muganira. Aha bikava ku kuba muri rusange abagabo bazwiho kuvuga make, naho abagore bakavuga menshi, iyo wumva udashaka kurondogora byinshi biba byiza iyo uteze amatwi, nabyo birafasha.
4. Kwirinda kubwirana nabi igihe muganira : Kuganira no kubwirana nabi biratandukanye, kandi nta muntu wifuza kubwirwa nabi. Ni byiza rero kwishyira mu mwanya wa mugenzi wawe ugakomeza guharanira ko ahorana akanyamuneza wirinda kumubwira nabi.
5. Kubwirana ko mukundana Hari igihe umukunzi wawe aba afite ibyo agutekerezaho bitari byiza, bityo kumubwira ko umukunda bikaba byabimwibagiza. Hari igihe nanone umukunzi wawe aba agishidikanya, maze kumubwira kenshi ko umukunda bikamuha icyizere gihamye cy’urukundo umukunda. Uretse ibi kandi, urukundo rukeneye guhora rwuhirwa rubagarirwa, niyo mpamvu igikoresho cyiza cyane kandi cy’ingenzi gishoboye ako kazi ari ukubwira umuntu ko umukunda.
6. Kwandikirana amagambo meza kandi atuje Kera byahozeho, aho akabaruwa k’umukunzi umuntu yakagendanaga iteka. Ubu kwandikirana ku mpapuro ntibigikunda kubaho, ariko kandi amagambo meza y’urukundo ushobora kuyamwandikira ukoresheje sms, e -mail, cyangwa se n’ibaruwa isanzwe, ibi bikamufasha kumwereka ko aho uba uri hose umutekereza.
7. Guhoberana no gusezeranaho : Iki ni ikimenyetso cy’uko ukunda umuntu, bityo ukareka kubyihererana ukabimwereka. Nta mpamvu yo kudahobera umukunzi wawe igihe ugiye kumuva iruhande, haba kujya ku kazi cyangwa se ahandi, ndetse n’igihe ugarutse. Ibuka kuba ariwe ubanza mbere y’abandi usanze mu rugo bose.
8. Gutemberana Igihe mwatemberanye n’umukunzi wawe cyangwa se muri kumwe, burya ngo ni inkingi ikomeye yo gukomeza urukundo rwanyu. Nimujya gutembera umwe akagendera muri metero nyinshi mufite isoni zo kwegerana, icyo gihe muzamenye ko urukundo rwanyu rurimo gucumbagira.
9. Gutungurana Gutungurana cyangwa se surprise, ni byiza cyane kuko byereka umukunzi wawe ko atagutekereza gusa iyo muri kumwe ko ahubwo niyo umuri kure agutekereza bityo akakugenera impano zitandukanye kandi zinatunguranye. Izi mpano ntibisaba ko ziba zihenze, ni impano umuntu wese ashobora kubona ku rwego rwe. Urugero, igihe uguriye umugore wawe sambusa ukayimuha ku giti cye utayihaye abana, cyangwa se n’abana ukaba wabageneye izabo ukwabo, burya iyi nayo iba ari impano itunguranye kandi yereka uwawe ko umuhoza ku mutima aho ugenda hose.
10. Sport Iki nacyo kiri mu byatuma couple yanyu irushaho gukundana kuko nk’urugero iyo mwirukankana hamwe (course) bituma murushaho kuba hamwe kandi niba uri umukobwa bikereka incuti yawe ko ushaka kugumana ya taille yakumenye ufite ukaba ushaka kutayita bityo nawe akarushaho kugukunda. Gusa, ibi ntibivuga ko gukora sport bizatuma ya taille utayota byanze bikunze. Ariko nibura nawe aba abona ko ntako utagize

Sangira n'inshuti Cameroun : Amabere y’abakobwa “aterwa ipasi” kugira ngo babarinde amaso y’abasore

Amajyaruguru ashyira uburengerazuba bw’igihugu cya Cameroun atuwe n’abaturage barenga miliyoni ebyiri. Ubuzima muri aka gace ni imvange y’ibigezweho n’ibya gakondo. Ubona ibimenyetso by’ibigezweho ariko nanone hakaba hakiri ibisigisigi by’imyemerere, imigenzo n’imigirire gakondo. Muri iyi migenzo ikigaragara, harimo n’uzwi cyane wo ‘gutera ipasi amabere’ y’abakobwa.
Kuri ubu televiziyo CNN yo muri Amerika imaze gukora ikiganiro kuri uyu muco. Umunyamakuru w’iyi televiziyo wakoze iyi nkuru yagiye mu muryango umwe ugikora uyu mugenzo ndetse wanawukoze mu myaka yashize.
Aha, bamubwiye ko ikiba kigamijwe mu “gutera ipasi amabere y’abakobwa” ngo ari ukubarinda amaso y’abahungu ndetse no gufasha aba bakobwa kwita ku masomo yabo aho kurangazwa n’abasore.
Ngo iyo umwana ageze ku myaka icyenda y’amavuko, ubwo nyine aba atangiye gupfundura amabere, umubyeyi we w’umugore atangira kujya ‘amutera ipasi ku mabere’ mu buryo buhoraho. Ibi ngo bikorwa buri gitondo mbere y’uko umukobwa ajya ku ishuri.
Uburyo ibi bikorwa ngo ni uko umubyeyi w’umugore ashyushya umuhini w’igiti, ibuye cyangwa ikindi gikoresho, ubundi yarangiza akajya agenda agikandakandisha gahoro gahoro ku kabere k’umwana w’umukobwa.
Ibi ngo bituma amabere y’umukobwa adakura ngo ahagarare nk’umutemeri ahubwo agahita agwa bityo ngo abahungu bashoboraga gukururwa n’igituza cy’umukobwa ntibabe bakimureba.
Ibi ariko ngo bifite ingaruka. Abakorerwaho iki gikorwa bemeza ko rimwe na rimwe hari igihe ibi bikoresho bibatwika bikaba byabasigira ibikomere ku mubiri.
Hari ndetse umuganga umwe wabwiye CNN ko hari igihe avura abakobwa bahiye igituza, abahiye intoki cyangwa abadashobora kuzigera bonsa kubera ingaruka z’ibi bikorwa. Uretse ibi kandi, ngo umuntu ashobora no kurwara kanseri y’ibere bivuye kuri uyu mugenzo.
Hejuru y’ibi kandi, ngo n’ubundi uwashatse kwikundanira n’umuhungu ntibibabuza rwose. Urugero ni Teresa (siryo zina rye nyakuri), umukobwa w’imyaka 18 wakoreweho iki gikorwa nyamara ntibimubuze ko ku myaka 15 bamutera inda y’ikinyendaro.
Gusa nyina umubyara, nawe ugaragara muri iyi nkuru ya CNN we yemeza ko iyo uyu mukobwa aza kuba atarakoreweho iki gikorwa cyo « gutera ipasi amabere ye » aba yaratwaye inda ataragera kuri iyo myaka.
Kuri ubu ariko, imiryango irengera uburenganzira bwa muntu n’iharanira uburenganzira bw’abagore by’umwihariko yatangiye kwamagana iki gikorwa kubera ko isanga cyangiza umukobwa ku mubiri ndetse no mu mutwe.

Amateka y’ibihugu-Nkiko by’u Rwanda rugari rwa Gasabo(Igice cya VII)

 Mu gice cya Gatandatu cy’iyi nkuru, twabagejejeho amateka y’igihugu cya Nduga, Ingoma y’u Bwanamwali, Ingoma y’u Buhoma n’ Ingoma y’u Bukonya, byategekwaga n’Abami b’Ababanda. Nk’uko twabibateguje muri iki gice cya Karindwi, tugiye kubagezaho amateka y’Ingoma ya Rwankeli y’Abalindi, Rwankeli y’Abaguyane, Ingoma y’u Bugoyi n’Ingoma y’u Burera.
17. Ingoma ya Rwankeli y’Abalindi
Abami b’icyo gihugu ni Ababanda. Ingoma–ngabe yabo yitwaga Kabuce. Babarizwaga muri Komini Nkuli ho mu Ruhengeri(ubu ni mu Karere ka Nyabihu). Amateka akaba atagaragaza neza Abami bategetse icyo gihugu.
18. Ingoma ya Rwankeli y’Abaguyane
Abami b’icyo gihugu ni Ababanda. Ingoma –ngabe yabo yitwaga Ndahaze. Babarizwaga muri Komini Kigombe na Kinigi ho mu Ruhengeri(ubu ni mu Karere ka Musanze). Amateka akaba atagaragaza neza Abami bategetse icyo gihugu.
19. Ingoma y’u Bugoyi
Abami b’icyo gihugu bari Ababanda, Ingoma-ngabe yabo ikaba Nyamwishyura. Babarizwaga muri Komini Kanama na Cyanzarwe ho muri Gisenyi(ubu ni mu Karere ka Rubavu). Amateka akaba atagaragaza neza Abami bategetse icyo gihugu.
20. Ingoma y’u Burera
Abami b’icyo gihugu bari Ababanda, Ingoma-ngabe yabo ikaba Bazaruhabaze. Babarizwaga muri Komini Butaro ho mu Ruhengeri na Mutura ho muri Gisenyi(ubu ni mu Karere ka Burera Rubavu) ; ndetse n’igice gito kiri ku butaka bw’u Buganda mu Bufumbira. Amateka akaba atagaragaza neza Abami bategetse icyo gihugu.
Ubutaha mu nkuru izakurikiraho, tuzabagezaho amateka y’Ingoma ya Kingogo, u Bunyabungo n’Ingoma y’u Buhunde
Ibitabo byifashishijwe :
 Un abrege de l’Ethino- Histoire du Rwanda, Butare 1972 (KAGAME Alexis)
 Inganji Kalinga I, Kabgayi 1943 (KAGAME Alexis) -Amateka y’Afurika, Kigali 1987 (MUREKUMBANZE Gr.) -Le Rwanda ancien et modern, Kabgayi 1959 (LOUIS de Lacger) -Le Bushiru et son Muhinza (M.Pauwels) -Ingoma I Rwanda (P.SIMPENZWE

Bamwe mu basore bavuga ko ubusugi bw’abakobwa bwasimbuwe n’ibikekerezo byubaka

 Bamwe mu basore n’abagabo batuye mu Mujyi wa Kigali bavuga ko kuri ubu abasore basigaye bagera mu gihe cyo gushaka batagitekereza gushaka umukobwa w’isugi ahubwo baba bashaka umukobwa ufite ibitekerezo byakubaka urugo ngo kuko wishinze iby’ubusugi ushobora kumara imyaka n’indi utaramubona.
Nshimiyimana Antoine, umusore w’imyaka 27 y’amavuko avuga ko atarashaka ariko ngo najya gushaka ntazirirwa ata umwanya ashaka umukobwa w’isugi kuko azi neza ko kumubona byamurushya.
Agira ati :”Ariko se ubundi tutagiye turenganya abakobwa, ubundi ko umuntu asigaye ajya gushaka yararyamanye n’abatagira ingano ubwo isugi umuntu aba yumva azayikura he ?”
Uyu musore akomeza avuga ko aho kugira ngo umuntu ajye ata umwanya ashaka isugi yawuta ashaka umukobwa bahuza ibitekerezo ubundi bagafatanya kurushinga. Ati : “Kuri ubu ibitekerezo byasimbuye ubusugi”.
Nshimiyimana avuga ko impamvu mbere abahungu bahaga ubusugi agaciro cyane ari uko benshi muri bo wasanga barifashe bakumva ko bagomba kuzabana n’abakobwa bameze nkabo, hakaba n’abandi bibeshyaga ko abahungu aribo bemererwa gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina gusa barashaka nkaho babaga babikorana n’abandi batari abakobwa.
Arongera ati : “N’ukwihangana twese twarashize, ubundi tugaharanira gushaka abo duhuza, kuko nti wavuga ngo urarya inyama kandi ntazo uri bubone.”
Umusore witwa Dani we avuga ko kugeza ubu yumva atifuza kuzashaka umukobwa ahubwo yumva azishakira umugore cyangwa umukobwa wabyariye iwabo kuko aribwo azumva atwaye umuntu azi neza ko atari isugi, aho kuzatwara uwo yita isugi yarangiza agasanga arutwa n’umugore wabyaye.
Ati : “Oya, kugira ngo mbihime byose nzishakira uwabyaye mbona ko ntaho ankinze.”
Dani avuga ko mu bisanzwe umuntu yikunda akaba ari nayo mpamvu aba yumva yashaka umukobwa utarakora imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko nyine kuko muri iyi minsi utapfa kumubona we ahitamo kuzashakana uwabyaye.
Agira ati :”Ubundi ibi bisa no kujya kugura amazi afunze neza mu gacupa ukayabura bakagusukira ayo mu kajerekani.”
Mu bihugu bitandukanye bafataga ubusugi nk’ikintu gikomeye cyane akaba ari nayo mpamvu iyo umukobwa yajyaga gushyigirwa yambaraga ikanzu yera mu rwego rwo kwerekana ko ari isugi, agaragaza ko umubiri we umeze nk’umwambaro yambaye.
Kuri ubu rero si ko bikimeze abakobwa benshi basigaye bashyingirwa baratakaje ubusugi bikanatuma biyambarira amakanzu afite irindi bara ritari iryera, muri iki gihe uwo uzabona yambaye ikanzu y’umweru uzamenye ko arimo gukurikiza imihango ya kera.
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe mu mwaka wa 2005 bugaragaza ko abantu benshi batakaza ubusugi bwabo cyangwa ubumanzi bari mu kigero cy’imwaka17 n’igice. Muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika ho hari ababutakaza bari munsi cyangwa bafite imyaka 15 y’amavuko.
Ibihugu bifata umwanya wa mbere mu kurinda ubusugi n’ubumanzi ni igihugu cya Maleziya aho benshi bagira imyaka 23 batarakaza ubusugi cyangwa ubumanzi bwabo ku mugabane w’Afurika ho haza Nigeriya aho benshi babutakariza ku myaka 19.

PGGSS Tom Close ni we uyegukanye

 Umuhanzi Tom Close yegukanye insinzi mu irushanwa ry’umuziki Primus Guma Guma Super Star mu Rwanda.
Nyuma y’uko muri iri rushanwa hasezerewe batandatu mu barushanwaga, kuri uyu wa gatandatu tariki ya 30 Nyakanga igihembo kigiye mu maboko y’umuhanzi uririmba mu njyana ya RnB, Tom Close.
Mu birori byo gusoza iri rushanwa byabereye mu mujyi wa Kigali, Tom Close yakurikiwe na King James, uyu na we akurikirwa na Jay Polly, naho ku mwanya wa kane haza itsinda rya Dream Boyz.
Muri uku gutangaza ibyavuye mu ihitamo ry’abakunzi ba muzika mu Rwanda babigaragaje hakoreshejwe ubutumwa bugufi cyangwa SMS, hari bamwe mu bafana batagiye bishimira uko abahanzi bakunda basezerewe, ku buryo nk’uko byagaragajwe n’uwari uyoboye ibirori (MC) hanabayeho gutera amabuye imbere aho abahanzi bari basigaye mu irushanwa bari bahagaze (kuri stage ).
Ibirori byarangijwe no guturitsa Feu d’artifice cyangwa fire works mu ndimi z’amahanga, bikaba byanaranzwe n’uko uwatsinze irushanwa atabonye umwanya uhagije wo gushimira abafana be kuko nk’uko ababikurikiranye kuri televiziyo y’igihugu babibonye, ijambo ryonyine yavuze ari “Mbere na mbere ndashimira Imana yo mu ijuru.”
PGGSS yari yahataniwe n’abahanzi icumi, abavuyemo mu byiciro bya mbere bakaba ari Rafiki, Mani Martin, Faycal, Urban Boys, Dr Claude na Riderman. Inkuru isesenguye irabageraho bidatinze.

Bimwe mu bintu byagufasha kwirinda indwara y’ urukundo

Indwara y’urukundo cyangwa amour (lovesickness) ni indwara nk’ izindi nk’uko umuntu arwara malariya. Gusa iyi yo itangirana ahanini ibimenyetso bitagaragara inyuma (Psychologique) biherekezwa n’ibigaragara (physique). Iyo umuntu arwaye indwara y’urukundo n’uko aba yumva afite urukundo rwinshi noneho kandi agasanga umuntu arimo gukunda ntabwo amuri hafi muri ako kanya. Ikindi kintu gishobora gutera iyi ndwara ni uko umuntu uba urimo gukunda muba mudahuje ibyiyumvo, ni ukuvuga ko ushobora kuba umukunda atabizi cyangwa ukaba umukunda we atagukunda.
Ikindi kintu gituma abantu barwara iyi ndwara ni uko ibitekerezo byabo n’ibyumvo byabo biba byahindutse, bakaba barimo gutekereza umuntu umwe gusa. Aha rero hari uburyo butandukanye ushobora gukoresha kugira ngo wirinde iyo ndwara mu gihe wumva ushobora kuyirwara.
1. Gerageza gufindura ibimenyetso by’indwara y’urukundo
Ushobora kwiyumva ukumva urarwaye ariko ukayoberwa icyo urwaye. Kugira ngo rero umenye ko urwaye urukundo cyangwa amour, n’uko rimwe na rimwe uzarwara umutwe wizanye, mu nda hazakurya, uzacibwamo, iseseme, uzumva utagishaka kurya nk’ uko bisanzwe, uzumva uducurane kandi utari urwaye ndetse akenshi usanga nta muntu ushaka kuvugisha. Muri iki gihe kandi ushobora kwifata ukarira nta muntu ukuvuze Niwibonaho ibi bimenyetso kandi hari umuntu uri gukunda cyane, uzamenye ko akawe kabaye ugiye kurwara urukundo maze ubindi utangire ubuhashye.
2. Nureba neza uzasanga ibi bintu byose bifite inkomoko mu gahinda n’ urwango wumva wifitemo muri iyo minsi
Nyuma yo kubona biriya bimenyetso ugomba guhita ushaka umuntu mubivuganaho. Impamvu ugomba gushaka umuntu mukaganira n’uko aha nini uba wumva ufite nk’ikintu cyatakaye cyangwa ukumva hari umuntu uri kubura mu buzima bwabwe. Mu rwego rwo kwirinda kuremba ugomba guhita ushaka umwe mu nshuti zawe cyangwa undi muntu wumva wisanzuraho ukamuganiriza ibyawe kuko uko ubivuga ninako bigenda bigushiramo, ari nako umutima wawe ugenda uruhuka.
3. Uzarye neza kugirango udahita unanuka bidasanzwe
Bitewe n’ ibihe bidasanzwe uba urimo uba ushobora kunanirwa kurya ubundi ugashiduka warataye ibiro byinshi cyane. Aha rero uba ugomba kurya neza kugirango ubashe kurushaho gutekereza neza uburyo wakwivana muri ibyo bihe. Indwara y’ urukundo ishobora gutuma uhita unarwara indwara zindi zisanzwe kuko umubiri wawe uba wataye imbaraga. Aha rero ugomba kwitondera ibyo urya muri icyo gihe kuko nibwo uba ukeneye kurya neza kurusha ikindi gihe.
Muri iki gihe kandi uzanywe amazi menshi cyangwa se ahagije kuko uzaba uri gutekereza cyane. Uzirinde kandi guhungira mu biyobyabwenge nk’ inzoga nyinshi, urumogi n’ ibindi. Ibi nubikoresha bizakwibagiza ho gato ariko ntibigushiramo uzababara kurusha mbere. Ibi kandi bizatuma iki gihe cyo kurwara urukundo kiba kirekire kurusha uko byari kugenda. Ahubwo iyegereze tumwe mu tuntu ukunda maze uturye muri icyo gihe.
4. Fata neza umubiri wawe
Aha bishatse kuvuga ko umubiri wawe utagomba kuba ariwo uzira ibihe bibi urimo, ngo uwufate nabi cyangwa se uwibagirwe. Niba ufite siporo usanzwe ukora, komeza uyikore kandi buri gihe. Niba kandi nta mwitozo ngorora mubiri wari usanzwe ukora, tangira urebe icyo wakora muri iyo minsi, wajya muri gym tonique, kwiruka, kugenda kwigare, gukina karate cyangwa se ikindi.
5. Ryama uruhuke bihagije
ndwara y’ urukundo ishobora gutuma utekereza cyane ukibagirwa ko ugomba kuryama ngo uruhuke. Aha rero ugomba gukora ku buryo uzajya uryamira igihe kimwe ukanabyukira igihe kimwe. Uzirinde ibintu bikurangaza mu cyumba cyo kuryama mo nka televiziyo, mudasobwa, ahubwo wenda ushyiremo ibinyamakuru cyangwa se ibitabo bizagufasha kubona ibitotsi vuba. Ugomba kandi gushaka ibyo kuryamira no kwiyorosa byiza kandi bikeye bizatuma wishimira uburiri.
6. Gira ibintu bimwe na bimwe wikuraho
Iyo utandukanye n’ umuntu ni byiza ko wirinda ibintu bimwe na bimwe bigusubiza mu bihe mwagiranye. Aha ugomba gutanga cyangwa se gutiza abandi amafirime y’ urukundo mwarebanaga, ibitabo bikwibutsa ibihe mwagiranye, n’ ibindi.
Ugomba kandi kubika kure amafoto ashobora kukwibutsa bya bihe kuko gukomeza ubireba byatuma umara igihe kirekire urwaye indwara y’ urukundo.
7. Gerageza gutekereza neza
Niba warashwanye n’ umukunzi, ntabwo ugomba gutekereza ko ibintu byose bitazaguhira. Ishimire ibyiza ufite, nk’ uburenganzira bwo kwigendera mu muhanda, kuba ushobora kuryama ukabyuka ntawe uguteraho induru, n’ ibindi. Tekereza ku bintu byiza byose ufite. Ibuka ko uri umuntu uzi gutekereza kandi ufata icyemezo cya kigabo. Ibuka ko uri umuntu ushoboye kwibeshaho nta bufasha bundi ukeneye.
Niba umukunzi wawe atakuri hafi, itegere amanywa n’ ijoro, urebe ukwezi n’ inyenyeri wibuke ko uko uri kubibona nawe aho ariko ari kubibona bityo wumve utari wenyine. Ibi bizatuma wumva ko muzongera mugasubirana umunsi umwe, igihe ni kigera.
8. Tanga umusaruro mu byo ukora
Iyo warwaye urukundo, ucika integer ndetse no mu kazi ntube ugitanga umusaruro nk’ uko bisanzwe.Ni byiza ko wandika ahantu ibintu byose uteganya gukora ubundi utekereze ku buryo ugomba kubirangiza byose kandi neza. N’ ubwo bitoroshye ariko nyine gerageza byibura utangire.
Tangira uhe agaciro ibintu bimwe wari usanzwe utitaho, aha ni nko kwihemba igihe kimwe mu byo wihaye gukora ukirangije. Ihembe, ntabwo ugomba kwiha igikombe nk’ ikipe itwaye shampiyona, ariko niba wanditse umushinga ukawurangiza fata nk’ umwanya ujye nko kureba ikipe ufana iri gukina.
9. Shikama mu kwemera kwawe
Niba ufite ukwemera runaka, iki ni igihe cyiza cyo gutera imbere mu kwemera kwawe, bikagufasha kunesha ya ndwara y’ urukundo.
Ifashishe gusenga nk’ intwaro iguha imbaraga ndetse n’ amahoro mu mutima. Aya mahoro yo mu mutima kandi azaguha imbaraga zo kunesha ya mibabaro yose ituruka kuri ya ndwara y’ urukundo.
10. Sohoka ubundi uganire n’ abantu
Ntabwo buri gihe uzumva ko ugomba gusohoka ari uko uri kumwe n’ umukunzi cyangwa se n’ umuntu uri gutereta cyangwa uri kugutereta. Ushobora gusohokana n’ abandi mukajyana guhaha, gukina, gutembere, mu nama n’ ibindi. Niba ukunda kuganzwa n’ indwara y’ urukundo iyo uri wenyine, reba ukuntu waba uri kumwe n’ abandi.
Egera bamwe mu muryango wawe utari uheretse kubona.
Ntuzashake gushyiramo imbaraga ngo ugire umubano ukomeye cyane n’ abo muri kumwe. Ni byiza ko igihe uri kumwe n’ abandi uba uwo uriwe, we gusa reka ibintu bigende ku murongo uko bisanzwe.
11. Andika inyandiko y’ ibyo wibuka mwagiranye n’ umukunzi mutari kumwe
Aha ni byiza ko wandika byose mu ikayi. Uzabona neza ko biri kukorohera kumenya iby’ ingenzi ndetse n’ ibitari ngombwa ubundi ibitari ngombwa ubijugunye.
Ku bantu bafite abakunzi babo kure, koresha e mails cyangwa se za chart kugirango mubashe kugumana. Rimwe na rimwe ube wanatungura umukunzi n’ akavugo wamuhimbiye k’ urukundo, akabaruwa k’ urukundo, akarabo k’ urukundo n’ ibindi.

Uburyo bwo Gutuma Umukobwa w'Inshuti Yawe Agukunda Cyane

 Ikintu cya mbere ku mugabo ufite umugore, ku musore ufite umukunzi cyangwa se wifuza kumugira ni ukumenya neza uko abagore muri rusange bateye.

Nk’uko umuhanga mu by’urukundo Yahya Messi mu gitabo cye, ‘Leurs Top Secrets’ abisobanura, ngo ikintu cya mbere ku bagabo ni ukumenya kwigira ku bagore.

Erega nibyo, nonese niba muri rusange, utajya wumva imiterere y’abagore, ni gute uzumva umukobwa wawe? Uzumva ute se umugore washatse, umukunzi wawe cyangwa mushiki wawe, n’inshuti yawe isanzwe y’umukobwa?

Abagore muri rusange, ni abantu bakunda umuntu ubitaho, bakunda gufata neza ibintu no kubiha agaciro mu buryo butandukanye n’ubw’abagabo. Ibi niba ushaka kubyumva neza uzabisuzume, cyangwa se wifashishe igitabo: Les hommes viennent de Mars et les femmes viennent de Venus, igitabo ushobora no kubona films documentaires zikivugaho. Iki gitabo kigaragaza neza kinifashishije ingero zifatika uburyo abagore batandukanye kure n’abagabo, uburyo hari ibintu byinshi abagabo badasobanukiwe ku bagore.

Hari aho abanditse iki gitabo batanga urugero rw’ukuntu umugabo iyo umuhamagaye umubwira ko urwaye umutwe cyane, ahita akubaza aho uri kugira ngo agushakirre ibinini abikuzanire, mu gihe umugore we abanza kukubaza ibibazo byinshi birimo aho uri, icyaba cyaguteye kunanirwa no kugira stress, agaytangira no kukubwira ibindi birimo no kuba yakwibutsa ko yari yarakubujije kunywa inzoga, … Muri rusange, ngo abagore iyo ubabwiye ko urwaye umutwe batangira kureba impamvu zaguteye kurwara umutwe, kurusha gushaka umuti w’icyo kibazo cyawe mu gihe umugabo we ngo yihutira kujya gushaka imiti gusa.

Ntabwo ari bibi pe, kuko ibi byerekana uburyo umugore muri rusange yita ku bintu kandi akabiha agaciro cyane, akantu ako ariko kose gashobora kumubabaza mu gihe ku mugabo we ibintu yitaho cyangwa bimutwarira umwanya ari bike cyane.
Uratekereza ko ikosa ari irya nde?

Yaba umugabo cyangwa umugore nta n’umwe ufite ikosa kuko Imana niyo yaturemye mu buryo butandukanye, nabyo kandi nsanga atari bibi kuko bidufasha kuzuzanya.

Nibyo koko imiterere y’abantu iratandukanye cyane, ari nayo mpamvu uzabona umugore afata umwanya we kugira ngo agutekere ibiryo ukunda, akaba azi mutwe itariki yawe y’amavuko kandi wenda wowe waranayibagirwa, akaba azi n’andi matariki akomeye mu buzima bwawe. Ibi byose abagore babikoreshwa n’urukundo baba bafitiye abagabo.

Jya wibuka kandi ko mu nkuru zose, mu migani myinshi ivuga ku bakobwa, irangira ibagaragaza nk’abamikazi, ikarangira igaragaza ko mu mpera buri mukobwa ahura n’igikomangoma (prince) cye kandi kiteguye kumuha urukundo mu buryo bwose.

Muri iyi nkuru turashaka kukwereka bimwe mu bintu abagabo batazi ku bagore kandi nyamara ari ingenzi mu mubano n’urukundo rwabo. N’ubwo bwose bidashoboka ko umukobwa/umugore abona uwo yifuza (l’homme parfait, perfect man) ariko nibura wowe musore/mugaboo gerageza kumwumvisha ko witeguye guhinduka.

Aha rero turagufasha kumenya ibyo wakora bikamushimisha bityo akarushaho kukwibonamo kurushaho kandi nawe ubwawe bitagusabye ko uhindura uko uteye cyane dore ko n’akenshi bigorana.

Dore rero ibintu usanga akenshi abagabo benshi badasobanukiwe ku bagore, kandi nyamara ari ibintu bishobora kububakira cyane:

- Abagore bakunda umuntu ubabwira ko ari beza: Kubwira umukunzi wawe kenshi gashoboka ko ari mwiza ni ikintu cy’ingenzi cyane. Aha kandi ugerageze no kumuha compliments (kumushimagiza) ku bintu bikomeye yagezeho, ku manota yabonye (niba ari umunyenshuri), kuri promotion yabonye ku kazi (umubwire ko yari abikwiye), ku mpano ze, n’ibindi.

- Kumwereka ko wiyizeye: Jya wereka umugore/umukobwa ko kuba ari inshuti yawe bigushimisha cyane, kandi ko uko bwije n’uko bukeye urushaho kumukunda. Kenshi bisa n’ibiteye isoni kuba wamusomera mu ruhame rwa benshi, ariko nibura niba muri mukugendana jya umufata ukuboko, abone nawe ko gukundana bikunezeza no kubyereka bose. Bishyire kuri bose babireba daaaa!!!

- Si byiza kumubeshya: kimwe n’abandi bantu bose burya iyo umuntu akubeshye akantu n’aho kaba ari gato, ukakamenya, birakubabaza kandi ugahita umutakariza icyizere.

- Irinde guteza intonganya mu ruhame no kuburana cyane : Ibi nabyo biri mu bintu abagore badakunda na gato, bituma basa n’aho bamwaye, bikabatera isoni,…ntibibashimisha muri rusange.

- Kumwitaho kandi wenyine: Hari abagabo benshi batekereza ko kuba muri kumwe n’abandi ari byiza kwita ku bandi bakobwa muri kumwe, niba murimo kubyina bose ukabitaho (ukababyinisha, ukabazanira ibyo kunywa,…) ariko burya wa mukobwa mukundana cyangwa wa mugore wawe rimwe na rimwe icyo witaga kuba ‘gentleman’ abifata nk’aho ari ukurengera kandi ko noneho muramuttse muttari kumwe warengera ukaba wakora n’ibindi. Rimwe na rimwe rero abibona nk’aho wamuca inyuma mu buryo bukoroheye cyane. Byirinde bitagusenyera.

- Irinde gusohokana inshuti ze utabimbwiye: Ni byiza ko umenyana n’inshuti ze, ariko burya iyo ugeze aho kujya uzisohokana utabanje kubimubwira cyangwa mutari kumwe ntibimushimisha, habe na mba. Ahubwo atangira kwibaza ko ahari harimo uwo usigaye ukunda, udashaka ko amenya; agatangira kutakwizera nabo atabasize.

-Ntuzigere ugiramo n’umwe mufitanye umubano wihariye kabone n’iyo nta kindi cyaba kibyihishe inyuma. Ikindi kandi ntukagire uwo wandikira ubutumwa bugufi muri kumwe mwese, ahita yibuka uburyo namwe byatangiye bisa no kwikinira akabona ko namwe ariho murimo kuganisha. Ni byiza kandi kumwereka ko wishimira kuba uri kumwe nawe wenyine, kurusha iyo muri kumwe mwese.

- Komeza kwiyitaho: Niba ari uwawe ntibivuze ko wafatishije bihagije ku buryo nta handi yajya. Reka da! Komeza umwereke ko uri umusore/umugabo mwiza w’igikundiro, umwereke ko rwose umukwiye kandi ko no hanze aha babona ko afite umugabo mwiza.

- Kumwitaho bihagije: Niba muri kumwe n’inshuti zawe witerura ibiganiro mu nshuti zawe ngo umere nk’aho adahari. Mwereke ko umwitayeho, mu kugenda umwiyegereze mbega umubere ingabo imukingira, umubere ukwezi kumumurikira, … Erega jya wishyira mu mwanya we, byagushimisha se niba iyo ari kumwe n’inshuti ze agufata nk’aho udahari??

- Kugaragaza isura nziza ku babyeyi be, no ku muryango we: N’iyo waba utabakunda ariko burya ni byiza kwibuka uruhare runini bafite ku mukobwa wabo, bityo ubibubahire kandi ukore ku buryo rwose urukundo rwanyu baruha umugisha.

- Gutekereza no kureba kure: Urukundo nta murongo runaka uhamye rugira wo kugenderaho. Jya rero uhora utekereza utuntu twose twamushimisha, ntugume mu bintu bimwe gusa kuko bigera aho bikamurambira, umuzanire indabyo nziza, umutegurire icyayi, niba ari ku kazi cyangwa ku ishuri umutungure ugire akantu umushyira yo mutari mwabivuganye, n’ibindi byose bishobora kumushimisha. Rimwe na rimwe umugurire impano nta kindi cyabaye,umuzanire filimi nziza muyirebane. Burya abakobwa ntabwo bakunda ibintu bihenze, baba bashaka gusa ibyo ubakorera bikuvuye ku mutima.

- Kwibuka amatariki akomeye mu buzima bwe : Iki ni ikintu wenda ahari utari uzi ariko gikomeye cyane ku bagore. Nuhora uzirikana itariki z’amavuko, ubukwe, itariki mwakundaniyeho, itariki imwibutsa ibintu bikomeye mu buzima bwe,… ntushobora kumva ukuntu azashimishwa cyane no kubona ukuntu umwitaho.

- Kwibuka ibyo akunda n’ibyo yanga: Umukobwa biramushimisha cyane kumva uzi ubwoko bw’indabyo akunda, ubwoko bwa filimi zimushimisha, ibara akunda, umunsi yanga cyangwa ibintu yanga kurusha ibindi. Ibi nabyo abibonamo urukundo rwinshi no kumwitaho cyane.

- Kumwandikira: Abagore muri rusange bakunda cyane umuntu ubitaho, biramushimisha gutaha agasanga akandiko wamusigiye ku musego, ako wamushyiriye mu isakoshi atabizi; biramushimisha cyane ko umubwira ko wagize amahirwe atabonwa na bake kuba ari uwawe. Si ngombwa ko ako kandiko kaba karekare cyangwa ari umuvugo wamuhimbiye, n’iyo kaba ari akajambo kamwe, kamugwa ku mutima.

- Kumuha umwanya: Buri mugore nk’uko twabibonye ko akunda umuntu umwitaho, jya umusaba umunsi yaguha atazaba ahuze, mwirirwane muri babiri gusa, murebane filimi, umukorere massage, umuririmbire; nta n’ikindi kinini ukoze ibyo byonyine azabigukundira pe.

- Kumwumva no kumusangiza ubuzima bwawe: Mubwire gahunda ufite, ibyo wakoze, ibyo wagezeho n’ibyakunaniye; umwumve nakugira inama, umutege amatwi yewe kabone n’aho waba utemeranywa nawe kubyo murimo kuvuganaho.

Mu bintu abagore binubira kenshi ni uko abagabo badakunda kubatega amatwi iyo barimo kubabwira inkuru. Jya umutega amatwi umwumve, umwereke ko witeguye kumwumva igihe cyose. Niba hari ikosa yakoze, yaba ari wowe yarikoreye cyangwa undi, nabikubwira ntugahite umukankamira, ahubwo jya ubanza umwumve, umugire inama, umukosore kandi byose ubikorane umutima mwiza bityo icyizere yari agufitiye kiziyongera.

- Kuba mu ruhande rwe: Buri gihe jya uba mu ruhande rwe, uko byaba bimeze kose, n’iyo yaba ariwe uri mu makosa, ugerageze kumuhana ariko kandi umwumvishe ko igihe cyose uhamubereye

- Mwereke ko nawe ashoboye: Niba mwasohokanye akakubwira ko yifuza kuba ariwe wishyura uwo munsi, jya umureka yishyure, umwereke ko nawe afite ubushobozi ko kandi umwubaha.

- Kumwitondesha: Niba mwarashakanye, si ngombwa ko buri gihe uko muryamye mukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina. Niba ubona atabishaka cyangwa se wenda atanabyiteguye, mwihorere, umuhe umwanya, umureke agire uruhare rufatika mu kwishimisha no kugushimisha.

- Kwirinda inshuti zawe za kera: si byiza kugarura abakobwa mwigeze gukundana (ex-girlfriends) , si byiza kandi ko uvuga ibyiza bari bafite bamurusha kuko ahita yumva nawe ari umwe mu bakobwa benshi mwakundanye, agatekereza ko urimo kubashyira mu gatebo kamwe; bityo cya yizere yari agufitiye kigatangira kugenda gishira, ndetse utaniyibagije ko byanatuma afuha.

Ibi byose nubikurikiza, azaguhora hafi kandi mubane mu munezero. Kenshi abantu bashobora gutandukana kandi nta n’ikintu gifatika bapfuye, gusa bigaterwa n’uko batabashije kumenyana bihagije.

Intambwe 7 Mu Kubona Umukobwa Mukundana

 

 ni gute wabona umukobwa mukundana?


 1. Ntuzigere wishyiramo ko uri gushaka umukobwa mukundana

Igihe wishyizemo ko uri gushaka umukobwa mukundana, uzatungurwa no kubona utari kumubona mu gihe wihaye. Ibaze nawe umukobwa wese ubonye ukabona arakunyuze umusabye gukundana nawe! Biroroshye cyane ko yahita akeka ko ufite akabazo mu mitekerereze, bityo bikamworohera kuguhakanira.

Ugomba kwishyiramo ko ukeneye kugirana umubano n’ abantu muri rusange, cyane ab’ igitsina gore. Wabona umukobwa wumva wishimiye ukamwegera nk’ inshuti isanzwe ukamwimenyereza, ukamwereka ko nta bintu birebire bikugenza bitari ubucuti busanzwe. Ibi bigabanya ukwigunga, bikanakongerera amahirwe yo kubona umukobwa mukundana. Mu kurushaho kumwitaho no kumuba hafi ni naho urukundo ruzabazamukamo mwembi ubundi mukaba mwaba inshuti .

2. Iyo muganira, ni byiza ko uyobora aho kuyoborwa

Ntabwo ari byiza ku muhungu gukundana n’ umukobwa kuko ari we wabishatse. Ahubwo ni wowe muhungu wihitiramo. Igihe muganira rero ujye ugerageza kuyobora ibyo muganira, ariko nyine nta terabwoba. Ibi kandi ukabikora ku buryo bitagaragarira buri wese ko ushaka kuyobora ibiganiro. Nk’ umuhungu uba ugomba kwereka umukunzi wawe ko uzamwuzuza, bishatse kuvuga ko uzamukorera byinshi atakwishoboza. Aho rero uba ugomba guhera ku biganiro kuko ariyo gahunda iba ibahuje muri icyo gihe. Muri make ntutume yicwa n’ irungu nk’ aho ibiganiro byabuze.

3. Irinde kuba wenyine

Ntabwo uzabona umukobwa mukundana kandi nta n’uwo muganira bisanzwe ufite. Menya inshuti zawe kandi ugerageze kubana nazo mu gihe cyo kwishima. Aha ndavuga nko gusohokana, gukinana, gutemberana, gusurana n’ ibindi. Ugomba kandi kumenya inshuti z’ umuntu wumva uri gukunda ubundi ukagenda umenyana nazo byanashoboka mukagira gahunda muhuriramo. Urugero niba abakobwa bagendana bakunda koga, nawe ugafata ifatabuguzi kuri piscine aho bogera. Icyo gihe nawe muzamenyana ubundi umubano usanzwe ube watangiye.

Niba kandi ushaka ko umuntu runaka muzakundana mu bihe biri imbere, ni byiza ko umuha e-mail yawe, nimero zatelefone, na facebook yawe ku buryo igihe cyose yagushaka atakubura.

4. Saba umukobwa wifuza ko mukundana ko mwasohokana

Burya ntabwo wamenya niba umuntu yaguhakanira gusangira nawe icyo kunywa igihe atarabikwibwirira. Kandi si kenshi umuntu yakwangira ko musangira. Ni byiza rero ko usaba umuntu uri kwiyumvamo ko mwasangira icyo kunywa cyangwa kuko bituma ubona umwanya wo kumwereka icyo ushoboye. Niba wumva bishobora kukugora kubimubwira amaso ku maso, ushobora kumwoherereza nk’ aka sms, cyangwa ukamuhamagara kuri telefone cyangwa se ukamwoherereza e – mail.

5. Menya neza umukobwa wifuza uwo ari we

Igihe wumva ko umukobwa muzakundana igihe kirekire, ni byiza ko uzitonda cyane mu guhitamo. Menya neza ibintu bya ngombwa umukobwa muzakundana agomba kuba afite ubundi nubibona ubone kumushaka no kumusaba urukundo.

Hari abahungu bazi uburyo bashobora gukurura umukobwa byihuse bahuriye nko mu kabyiniro, ubundi bwacya umwe agaca ukwe undi ukwe.

6. Sohokana n’ abakobwa batandukanye kugira ngo umenye neza uwo ukeneye

Umuhungu wese ugerageje gusohokana abakobwa batandukanye usanga akubwira ko uwo yabonaga mbere ko ari we akeneye, mu by’ ukuri atari we. Ikosa abantu benshi bakora ni ukwihuta cyane mu gushaka inshuti bitewe n’ uko batajya bashobora gutereta. Ibi bituma benshi bahita bafata uje mbere bitewe no kwanga kuguma ari bonyine.

Nuhitamo nabi uzabaho ubabaye cyane kurusha uko wari kuba umeze iyo uba nta muntu ufite.

Umumaro nyamukuru umugore aba amaze mu buzima bw’ umugabo ni ugutuma yishima kurusha uko yari ameze mbere y’ uko amubona. Ibi rero bivuze ko igihe ataguha ibyo byishimo atari umugore ugukwiye.

7. Jya ujya ahantu hatandukanye uhure n’ abantu bashya

Burya mu buzima iyo ugiye ahantu henshi, uhura n’ abantu benshi, bamwe ugahita ubibagirwa abandi bakaba inshuti za hafi, abandi bakaba inshuti zisanzwe, hari abo mukorana business hari n’ ababa abakobwa b’ inshuti.

Ibi kandi ntibivuze ko uzashaka guhura n’ abantu ubona mwagirana umubano wazavamo wenda urukundo. Ushobora guhura n’ umukecuru akakugeza ku mukobwa we cyangwa se umwuzukuru we.

Ushobora no guhura n’ abagore bakakugeza ku nshuti zabo z’ abakobwa cyangwa se abavandimwe babo ushobora kuzakuramo umukobwa mukundana

Ibimenyetso 18 Bishobora kugaragagaza ko Umukunzi Wawe Asigaye Aguca Inyuma

 

Abantu bamaze igihe bakundana, baba basigaye baziranye ku buryo umwe iyo yahindutse gato, undi (niba abyitayeho) ashobora guhita abibona.

Ubundi umugabo n’umugore baba basa n’aho ari umuntu umwe, yaba ari mu buryo bufatika, yaba ari mu mitekerereze n’ibindi; ibi ariko bigahinduka iyo umwe muri bo atangiye kugira ka kageso ko guca mugenzi we inyuma.

Bimwe mu bimenyetso bishobora kukwereka ko umukunzi wawe asigaye aguca inyuma:

1. Niba umukunzi wawe atangiye kugira umuco wo kuguca inyuma, akenshi uzasanga muri telefoni ye yatangiye kugenda ashyiramo code (akajambo k’ibanga) ku buryo nta wundi muntu ushobora gusoma message zirimo cyangwa kureba uwamuhamagaye. Aha rero aba asa n’utangiye kwikeka, ko ibyo arimo gukora bizamenyekana.

2. Ikindi rero, ni ukuntu aba asigaye kenshi asa n’aho kwitaba telefoni ahantu hari abandi bantu cyane cyane umukunzi we bimugoye. Usanga kenshi ajya kwitabira hanze, muri douche, agatinda kuri telefoni,..

3. Ashobora no kugaragaza ibimenyetso nko kuba usigaye umuhamagara kenshi ntakwitabe kandi ubizi ko nta nama cyangwa akazi kenshi afite muri iyo minsi.

4. Atangira kandi gufungura izindi emails udasanzwe uzi, niba hari n’iyo wari usanzwe uzi na password yayo agerageza kuyihindura kugira ngo hatazagira icyo ubona muri mails ze.

5. Ahandi ushobora kurebera n’iyo nk’umwe mu bakundana usanga iyo undi yamaraga amasaha nibura nk’abiri nta telefoni y’umukunzi we iramugeraho, wasangaga byamubabaje cyane, ariko ubu ukaba usanga yamuhamagara, atamuhamagara byose bisa n’aho ari kimwe, ibyo nabyo byerekana ko wa mwanya yamuhaga ubu hari undi asigaye yarawuhariye ku buryo bisa n’aho ntacyo bimutwaye cyane yaba abonetse cyangwa atabonetse.

6. Atangira kukwita akandi kazina k'urukundo utari usanzwe umenyereye, Har igihe aba arimo kukwitiranya n'undi mukunzi we

7. Ku bantu bashishoza cyane, ushobora kumva umuhumuro wa parfum(cyane cyane ku bagabo) utandukanye n’ uwo usanzwe umuziho.

8. Hari n’igihe akenshi cyane cyane ku bantu bashakanye usanga niba mwari mumenyereye ko nibura mutera akabariro nka gatatu mu cyumweru, ugasanga n’ibyumweru bibiri bishize ntacyo mwibwira, ukabona rwose ntabyitayeho cyane,… nabyo bishobora kukwereka ko asigaye afite ahandi ahugira ku buryo rwose atakibishidukira cyane.

9. Ikindi niba hari umwanya yajyaga agenera urugo ubu arasa n’utakiwufite, za mission z’akazi za hato na hato, week end akazi karakomeza, kageza ninjoro, …

10. Amafaranga yinjiraga mu rugo atangira kugabanuka ku buryo bugaragara; niba musanzwe mufite uburyo bwo guhana amakuru ku byerekeranye n’ikoreshwa ry’amafaranga yanyu mwembi birahagarara

11. Usanga kandi atangira guhindura imico, ukabona arasa n’aho ari umuntu mushya utari uwo usanzwe uzi.

12. Nta hantu agishaka ko mujyana, kandi mbere yarishimiraga cyane kugendana nawe, agufashe ukuboko.

13. Usanga kandi atangira kugenda asa n’utagishishikajwe n’ibyo mu rugo; niba mwubatse mufitanye n’abana, ibyo kwita ku masabukuru yabo no kuba ari mu rugo mu munsi mukuru wabo ugasanga byaragabanutse.

14. Inshuti zanyu mwembi, zitangira kugenda zikwishisha, wenda kuko zizi uburyo aguca inyuma ariko zikabura uko zikubwira ngo zitarusenya…

15. Usanga kenshi abo bantu baca inyuma abakunzi babo batishimira na gato kumva ibiganiro bijyanye n’abagabo/abagore baca inyuma abafasha babo, ahubwo ugasanga arimo kubaburanira cyane,…

16. Aha kandi usanga akenshi asigaye akunda gutinda kuri computer cyane wagiye kuryama, akenshi kubera ko yahanye gahunda n’undi ngo bahurire kuri chat.

17. Kenshi muri telefoni ye uzasanga ari telefoni zamuhamagaye ari izo we yahamagaye, ari ubutumwa yabonye n’ubwo yohereje byose abisiba, ku buryo ushobora kwibaza niba iyo telefoni ikoreshwa bikakuyobera.

18. Ikindi kandi ni uko akenshi usanga asa n’utakishimiye cyane ko umwerekana mu bantu b’inshuti zawe, niba umusabye ko hari aho mujyana agatangira kukubaza ibibazo byinshi.

KUNYAZA:POSITIONS ZO GUSWERA UNYAZA

KUNYAZA:GUSWERA UMUGORE AKANYARA.KUNYAZA NI UBURYO BURYOHA BWO GUSWERA,BUSHIMISHA UMUGORE N'UMUGABO

I.KUNYAZA:POSITIONS ZO GUSWERA UNYAZA

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA WICAJE KU BITSITSINO

Umwicaza ku butsitsino maze amaguru akayarenza hejuru y'ibibero byawe agafata hasi yishingikirije ibiganze bye maze ukamuswera ukamunyaza yajya gusohora ukamufata mu mugongo kugira ngo atisimbiza kubera uburyohe bwinshi akavunika.

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA WICAJE KU NTEBE

N'uburyo bwiza cyane bwo kunyaza kuko ntawe buvuna kandi wicara ku ntebe y'urukiko n'umugore bikaba uko mukegerana maze amaguru yanyu agasobekerana aye akayahagarika ku tubaho ku ruhande bigatuma igituba cye cyiza imbere cyane noneho ukamunyaza. Ubu buryo bwo guswera ntibuvuna. Bifasha umugongo kutaruha kandi akanyara neza kuko umugongo urambuye.

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA UHAGAZE

Ni uburyo bwo guswera buryoha nabwo. Munyuranya amaguru maze ukamutazura agasa nuteye intambwe, ukuguru kumwe ku ntebe,ku gitanda,cyangwa se ikindi kintu kigiye hejuru ho gatoya ukundi hasi; ugafata umutwe w’imboro ukajya uwukomanga kuri rugongo maze rugongo igashibura ibinyare ariko yuhagira umugabo umubiri wepfo wose. Ubu buryo bwo guswera unyaza bukunze gukoreshwa igihe abantu badafite umwanya n'aho kubikorera heza ariko bamwe bagahitamo kutabihomba bakabikorera ahantu nko mu bikoni,mu iduka,mu ishuri,ku modoka, muri biro n'ahandi bitashoboka ko baryama .Kuko abantu icyo gihe basohorera hasi bisaba kongera guhita utunganya aho mwabikoreye.

II.UBURYO BWO GUSWERA UNYAZA

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA N'URUTOKI

Iyo umugore ashyutswe umuswera ufashe umutwe w'imboro maze ukayikomanga kuri rugongo ugacumita nka rimwe mu masegonda 100 ukamushimisha inkonji wazamura imboro igakora hagati yimishino maze umugore akarekura amazi wamanura nanone imboro igakusha imishino maze hakavubuka ibinyare.

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:KUNYATIRIZA

Ni uburyo buryohera abagore ukubita imboro hagati y'imishino yombi maze ukajya uzamura umanura icyo gihe umugore aritsa ahumeka ukabona ko aryohewe,ubikora nk'imashini ntumutekereze kugera aho amisha ibikari bishyushye inshuro zose ushaka.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUTSIBURA

Uswera ufashe imboro ukayitsibagura kuri rugongo uyikoza ku mutwe wayo maze ugatsibura gahoro ku mishino nk'uko baca umugani mu kinyarwanda ngo'umushishi w'umushino ntushira inogonra' maze agasoko kari hagati y'imishino kagatungereza maze ukungikanya akanyara .

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUKUNGUTA

Ni uburyo bumara umugore ishwira.Imboro uyinjiza mu gituba ugafata umutwe wayo maze ugakunguta ujyana mu mpande zose z'igituba hepfo no haruguru mu mpande no mu muzenguruko wacyo. Abagore bafite imbyaro nyinshi barabikunda, bamena amavangingo menshi avanze n'urukonda.
Umugore ukungutwa cyane ubona ahorana umwera ariko anezerewe ku buryo iyo atabibona arwara za rubagimpande ndetse no mu nda.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUKAMA

Ufata imboro ishyutswe ukayinjiza mu marebe y'igituba maze ugafata imishino ukayikurura usa n'uyipima ku mboro maze ukayifatana nimboro maze ukazunguza umanura uzamura utambitse ariko ukoza imboro kuri Rugongo. Imishino ihita ireta nk'amabere maze ikivuruganya.
Ugomba kwitonda kuko umushino ushobora gucika cyagwa ugakomereka mu gihe ugize cyane UTARIMO GUCUNGA.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:KUJABAGIRA

Ufata isonga y'ururimi ukayipima hagati y'imishino na rugongo maze ukajabagira nk'imbwa inywa amata yatangira kunyara ugapfundikiza isonga mu kenge kazana amavangingo maze agasa nuhejeje umwuka ukarekura maze agasa n'aho acitse amaferi.
Ugomba kwirinda kumira amavangingo kandi bikorerwa umuntu wapimishije ko adafite imiteziCYANGWA IZINDI NDWARA ZANDURIRA MU MYANYA NDANGABITSINA kuko ushobora kuyandura mu kanwa, uko igituba kinuka afite imitezi ni nako mu kanwa hawe hanuka/wabigirira umugore wawe gusa nabwo uzi neza ko adasambana.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUKAMISHA

Umukobwa ahenesha undi cyangwa umuhungu udashaka guswera akoresheje imboro maze agashyira urutoki mu kibuno kugeza aho ruhenengeye maze wakunva asa n'uniha ugasakuma imishino ugasa nuyikama ugarura mu muraru we maze buri uko usesetse urutoki ugakama imishino ye, ahita asuka amazi agataka akarangiza.
Icyitonderwa: ushobora gukomeretsa inyama zo mu nda iyo ufite inzara ndende.

Sobanukirwa n’ibimenyetso 3 bishobora kukwereka ko umukobwa w’inshuti yawe aguca inyuma

 Sobanukirwa n’ibimenyetso 3 bishobora kukwereka ko umukobwa w’inshuti yawe aguca inyuma

Burya ngo birashoboka cyane ko ushobora kuba ukundana n’umukobwa ndetse cyane, bigashyuha urukundo rwanyu rukaka n’abantu benshi kakabibona ndetse nawe muhungu ubwawe ukabyibonera ukanabyiyumvamo ko mukundana, ariko igihe kikagera, umukobwa akagira atya akagukundiraho undi ari byo bikunze kwitwa guca inyuma. Iki kintu rero ngo iyo kibaye ku musore/umuhungu arababara cyane.

Urubuga http://catchmycheatinglover.com ruvuga ko ngo burya atari byiza ko utagomba kumva ko byarangiye  uwo mukundana adashobora kuba yaguca inyuma, aha ngo ni byiza kuba maso kandi ukagenzura igihe ubona hari icyahindutse bitewe n’uko mwari musanzwe mubanye. Mu gihe rero ngo ukeka cyangwa ubona ko mu rukundo rwanyu bitagenda neza, genzura ibibimenyetso 3 uzamenyeraho ko yaba aguca inyuma:
  
1. Guhindura imyambarire n’imyirimbishirize

Ubusanzwe ngo abakobwa mu mibereho yabo bagira umuco wo gukunda  gusa neza no kwambara bakaberwa kandi burya ngo iyo babikoze hari uwo baba bashaka gushimisha. Rero ngo igihe uzabona umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yadukanye imyambarire atari asanganywe kandi akayihindura atakubwiye (atakugishije inama) ngo umenye ko urukundo rwawe na we rwajemo undi muntu, bityo akaba yahinduye imyambarire kugira ngo ashimishe uwo wundi kuko ngo hari n’igihe uzasanga rwose ibyo yambaye cyangwa se ubwoko bw’umubavu yiteye ndetse n’indi mitako agiye gukoresha mu kwirimbisha Atari byo wowe usanzwe ukunda. Icyo gihe  rero byitondemo ushishoze kuko ngo wasanga aba arimo kubikora agira ngo ashimishe undi utari wowe.

2. Kutakwitaho nka mbere

Ubundi ngo ikizakubwira ko  hari ikintu kitagenda neza hagati yawe n’umukobwa w’inshuti yawe  ni uko uzabona atakikwitaho cyangwa ngo  akwiyumvemo nka mbere. Aha ngo uzabona inshuro yaguhamagaraga kuri telephone zagabanutse, agabanye gushaka kubonana nawe amaso ku maso ndetse  kukubitsa amabanga ye no kugushyira muri gahunda ze za buri munsi bigabanuke kuko afite uwo abibasangiza. Aha rero, ngo ubonye bimeze bitya cunga neza kuko ashobora kuba afite undi abagabanya urukundo bigatuma urwo yaguhaga rugabanuka ndetse ngo uzasanga byinshi byarahindutse nko kubona atangiye kujya abihirwa muri kumwe, kutishimira gusangira amwe mu mabanga y’urukundo, kugabanya ibintu mwakoranaga mwembi mukishima, kugabanya umwanya  yaguhaga, kutakwereka inshuti ze no kudashaka ko umenya amakuru y’umuryango we nka mbere n’ibindi. Igihe ibi bitangiye kuba, umenye ko hari ubyihishe inyuma ari kubasangiza urukundo.

3. Kuguhisha amabanga  amwe n’amwe yo kuri telefoni

Niba umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yatangiye kujya ahamagarwa n’abantu kenshi  kandi ntakwereke abo ari bo ndetse agashaka kwanga no kubitaba  igihe muri kumwe, kwita abantu amazina adasobanutse, kwakira ubutumwa bugufi akanga ko ubureba, kwanga kukwereka nimero imaze kumuhamagara , gusiba nimero imaze kumuhamagara ndetse no gusiba ubutumwa bugufi (messages) akimara kubusoma no gusiba izo umwandikira muri telephone ye n’ibindi burya ngo ni bimwe mu byakagombye kukwereka aho urukundo rwawe na we rugeze ndetse ni na cyo gihe cyo kumenya ko yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Mu gihe rero ubibonye gutya, hita umenya ko ashobora kuba yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Ikindi kandi, ibi biba biganisha ku ndunduro y’urukundo mwari mufitanye.
Birababaza rero ngo kumenya ko umukunzi wawe aguca inyuma ariko ngo bikababaza kurushaho iyo wisanze baguca inyuma hashize igihe, mbese amazi yararenze inkombe ntacyo ukiramiye. Ngo ni byiza rero ko mudakunda buhumyi ahubwo muba mugomba umunsi ku wudi kugenzura ko nta cyahindutse ku rukundo, bityo wabona kimwe muri biriya bimenyetso bikwereka ko umukobwa yaba aguca inyuma ukaba wagira icyo ukora  ukaramira urukundo rwanyu hakiri mu maguru mashya.

Burya ngo birashoboka cyane ko ushobora kuba ukundana n’umukobwa ndetse cyane, bigashyuha urukundo rwanyu rukaka n’abantu benshi kakabibona ndetse nawe muhungu ubwawe ukabyibonera ukanabyiyumvamo ko mukundana, ariko igihe kikagera, umukobwa akagira atya akagukundiraho undi ari byo bikunze kwitwa guca inyuma. Iki kintu rero ngo iyo kibaye ku musore/umuhungu arababara cyane.

Urubuga http://catchmycheatinglover.com ruvuga ko ngo burya atari byiza ko utagomba kumva ko byarangiye  uwo mukundana adashobora kuba yaguca inyuma, aha ngo ni byiza kuba maso kandi ukagenzura igihe ubona hari icyahindutse bitewe n’uko mwari musanzwe mubanye. Mu gihe rero ngo ukeka cyangwa ubona ko mu rukundo rwanyu bitagenda neza, genzura ibibimenyetso 3 uzamenyeraho ko yaba aguca inyuma:
  
1. Guhindura imyambarire n’imyirimbishirize

Ubusanzwe ngo abakobwa mu mibereho yabo bagira umuco wo gukunda  gusa neza no kwambara bakaberwa kandi burya ngo iyo babikoze hari uwo baba bashaka gushimisha. Rero ngo igihe uzabona umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yadukanye imyambarire atari asanganywe kandi akayihindura atakubwiye (atakugishije inama) ngo umenye ko urukundo rwawe na we rwajemo undi muntu, bityo akaba yahinduye imyambarire kugira ngo ashimishe uwo wundi kuko ngo hari n’igihe uzasanga rwose ibyo yambaye cyangwa se ubwoko bw’umubavu yiteye ndetse n’indi mitako agiye gukoresha mu kwirimbisha Atari byo wowe usanzwe ukunda. Icyo gihe  rero byitondemo ushishoze kuko ngo wasanga aba arimo kubikora agira ngo ashimishe undi utari wowe.

2. Kutakwitaho nka mbere

Ubundi ngo ikizakubwira ko  hari ikintu kitagenda neza hagati yawe n’umukobwa w’inshuti yawe  ni uko uzabona atakikwitaho cyangwa ngo  akwiyumvemo nka mbere. Aha ngo uzabona inshuro yaguhamagaraga kuri telephone zagabanutse, agabanye gushaka kubonana nawe amaso ku maso ndetse  kukubitsa amabanga ye no kugushyira muri gahunda ze za buri munsi bigabanuke kuko afite uwo abibasangiza. Aha rero, ngo ubonye bimeze bitya cunga neza kuko ashobora kuba afite undi abagabanya urukundo bigatuma urwo yaguhaga rugabanuka ndetse ngo uzasanga byinshi byarahindutse nko kubona atangiye kujya abihirwa muri kumwe, kutishimira gusangira amwe mu mabanga y’urukundo, kugabanya ibintu mwakoranaga mwembi mukishima, kugabanya umwanya  yaguhaga, kutakwereka inshuti ze no kudashaka ko umenya amakuru y’umuryango we nka mbere n’ibindi. Igihe ibi bitangiye kuba, umenye ko hari ubyihishe inyuma ari kubasangiza urukundo.

3. Kuguhisha amabanga  amwe n’amwe yo kuri telefoni

Niba umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yatangiye kujya ahamagarwa n’abantu kenshi  kandi ntakwereke abo ari bo ndetse agashaka kwanga no kubitaba  igihe muri kumwe, kwita abantu amazina adasobanutse, kwakira ubutumwa bugufi akanga ko ubureba, kwanga kukwereka nimero imaze kumuhamagara , gusiba nimero imaze kumuhamagara ndetse no gusiba ubutumwa bugufi (messages) akimara kubusoma no gusiba izo umwandikira muri telephone ye n’ibindi burya ngo ni bimwe mu byakagombye kukwereka aho urukundo rwawe na we rugeze ndetse ni na cyo gihe cyo kumenya ko yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Mu gihe rero ubibonye gutya, hita umenya ko ashobora kuba yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Ikindi kandi, ibi biba biganisha ku ndunduro y’urukundo mwari mufitanye.
Birababaza rero ngo kumenya ko umukunzi wawe aguca inyuma ariko ngo bikababaza kurushaho iyo wisanze baguca inyuma hashize igihe, mbese amazi yararenze inkombe ntacyo ukiramiye. Ngo ni byiza rero ko mudakunda buhumyi ahubwo muba mugomba umunsi ku wudi kugenzura ko nta cyahindutse ku rukundo, bityo wabona kimwe muri biriya bimenyetso bikwereka ko umukobwa yaba aguca inyuma ukaba wagira icyo ukora  ukaramira urukundo rwanyu hakiri mu maguru mashya.

Imijyi 7 yo muri Afurika iza ku isonga mu busambanyi n’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi

Ubusanzwe ubukerarugendo buzana amafaranga menshi mu gihugu bikanafasha kuzamura ubukungu bw’igihugu. Ukurikiye ayo mafaranga ntiwamenya ko abaza mu bukerarugendo batagenzwa na kamwe.
Hari abagenzwa no kureba ibyiza nyaburanga( parc, ingagi, ibirango by’amateka) ndetse no gufata akaruhuko ku nkombe z’amazi y’ibiyaga n’umucanga bifite amafu n’ubwiza(plage). Nyamara ariko na none hari abaza baje kwishakira igitsina. Aha ni ukuvuga ko hari abagabo/abasore baza bashaka abakobwa bo kuryamana nabo n’abagore/abakobwa baza bashaka abagabo bo kuryamana nabo bakabaha amafaranga.
Ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi [ tourisme sexuel/sex tourism] ni kimwe mu bibazo bigaraga ku isi ariko cyane cyane mu bihugu bikennye bikiri mu nzira y’amajyambere.
Abakunze gukora ibi ni abazungu n’abandi bantu baturuka mu bihugu bikize, baza gushuka abo mu bihugu bikennye.
Ikibazo ngo si icy’ubusambanyi cyangwa se kwigurisha kuko ntaho indaya zitaba na cyane ko ziba zikuze kandi bakaryamana babanje kumvikana.
Ikibazo kinini kigaragara ngo ni uko aba bazungu cyangwa se aba bakire baza gushuka utwana duto tw’udukobwa n’uduhungu, utwinshi tuba tutarageza ku myaka 18 y’amavuko.
Ubu bukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi bugaragara mu migabane hafi ya yose igize isi.
Umugabane wa Afurika na wo ntiwasizwe inyuma, dore ko abaturage bo mu bihugu byinshi bakennye ari na cyo gituma bikabya cyane.
Usanga abana bato b’ingimbi n’abangavu bishora mu buraya kubera abo bazungu baba babaha amafaranga ariko kandi hari n’ababyeyi bashora abana babo muri ubu buraya kugira ngo babone imibereho.
Tariki ya 22 nyakanga 2011, ikinyamakuru Slate cyasohoye imijyi ya Afurika 7 irangwamo ubusambanyi ndetse n’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi kurusha iyindi muri Afurika.
Iyi mijyi ni nayo igaragaramo uburaya bukorwa n’abana bato ndetse n’abantu bakuru basambanya aba bana ari byo bita-Pedophilie- mu gifaransa.
Aha ni naho haboneka ubucuruzi bw’abana, b’aba abakobwa/abahungu, bashorwa muri ubu busambanyi mu bahoteri n’ububari byo muri iyi mijyi.
Umugabane wa Afurika ubaye indiri y’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi nyuma Aziya na Amerika y’amajyepfo(Amerique Latine) byari bigezweo vuba.
Iyo mijyi irindwi n’ibihugu byayo ni bikurikira:
1. Saly (Sénégal)

Saly, ni umujyi muto wo mu gihugu cya Sénégal uherereye mu birometero 90 uvuye mu murwa mukuru Dakar.
Uyu mujyi urangwamo amahoteri meza n’amaresitora akomeye, utubyiniro ndetse n’umucanga wo ku mazi y’inyanja(plage) bikurura abantu benshi bo mu bihugu bikize.
Ibi bintu bihari bituma uyu mujyi ufatwa nk’ahantu hambere heza hakurura abantu muri Afurika y’Uburengerazuba.
Saly kandi ifatwa nk’umurwa wa mbere uberamo ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi. Iyi nyandiko twashyize mu Kinyarwanda igira iti “Ni umujyi w’abasaza n’abakecuru bo mu bihugu bikize[Occidentaux vieillissants] ba bashaka gusogongera ku busugi n’uburanga bw’abana bat aba Senegal.”
Abana b’abakobwa bato, abakiri mu bwangavu(adolescence) ndetse n’ababusohotsemo vuba nibo basambana n’aba basaza babashukisha amafaranga nabo bakabaha imibiri yabo.
Ubu busambanyi butuma abantu bamwe bapfa abandi bagatabwa muri yombi n’inzego z’umutekano bitewe n’aba bana.
Urugero rwabaye muri uyu mujyi ni Umufaransakazi w’imyaka 65 y’amavuko wari waje kureba abana bato b’abahungu ni uko uwo bari bararanye muri hoteli amwiba ibintu bye byose amusiga iheruheru. Byatumye uwo mukecuru ahitamo kwiyahuza umuti wica udukoko ni uko apfira mu cyumba cy’iyo hoteli.
Urundi rugero ni uruherutse gutangazwa n’ikinyamakuru L’Epress, aho abagabo bane b’Abafaransa bakatiwe hagati y’imyaka 2 na 10 kubera kuryamana n’umwana w’umukobwa w’imyaka 10 bamuhaye amaeuro 150, ni ukuvuga asaga ibihumbi 129 by’amanyarwanda.
Ubwiyongere bw’uburaya bushorwamo abana ndetse n’uburemere bw’iki kibazo bwatumye hashingwa muri 2002 umuryango utegamiye kuri leta “Avenir de l’enfant” wo kuburwanya no guharanira uburenganzira bw’abana muri iki gihugu.
2. Kampala (Ouganda)
Igihugu cya Ouganda ni kimwe mu bihugu bifite politike zishyigikiye kandi ziteza imbere ubukerarugendo. Umurwa mukuru wacyo Kampala ukunze kugendwa n’abantu benshi baturuka mu bihugu bikize baje kuhasura.

Gusa ngo aba baza atari uko bakurikiye ubwiza bw’iki gihugu, dore ko kinakennye(35% baba munsi y’umurongo w’ubukene) ahubwo ari ukwirebera abo bafatanya kuryoherwa n’ubuzima bwabo.
Iyo bigeze igihe cya ninjoro, ba mukerarugendo bigira mu tubari, amahoteri n’utubyiniro tuba muri Kampala. Aha niho bahurira n’abakobwa n’abahungu bigurisha.
Imibare yerekana ko abakora uyu mwuga mu gihugu cya Ouganda, umubare munini ugizwe n’abana batarava mu gihe cy’ubwangavu n’ubugimbi.
Aba bishora mu busambanyi kubera ubukene buba mu miryango yabo, bashaka icyababeshaho n’uburyo bafasha imiryango yabo.
Umwihariko mu gihugu cya Ouganda ngo ni uko usanga ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi buzwi cyane kandi busa n’aho bwemewe mu gihe ibindi bihugu byo muri Afurika y’uburengerazuba byo bibihisha.
Hari yemwe ngo n’abandika ku mbuga za internet uburyo baryamana n’abakobwa bo muri iki gihugu bavuga n’uburyo bazajyayo n’ibyo bakoze byose. Uru rubuga ry’umuntu ku giti cye (blog) rwagiyeho muri 2004 ngo hari abandikaho uko ikimero cy’abakobwa bo muri Ouganda kimeze n’ibyiza byabo, ibiciro byabo ndetse n’amayeri yo gukoresha kugira ngo ubabone. Abandi usanga badatinya gushyiraho abafoto yabo bakora imibanono mpuzabitsina n’abo bakobwa.
Igitangaje ariko ngo ni uko n’inzego z’umutekano ndetse n’ubuyobozi bwose bubizi ariko bakabyirengagiza.
Mu 2009, Inteko ishingamategeko ya Ouganda yatoye itegeko rihana ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi no gushora abana mu buraya. Nyamara ariko ngo bose basa n’abapfutse amaso yabo banavunira ibiti mu matwi.
3. Mombasa (Kenya)

Mombasa ni umujyi uri ku cyambu uherereye mu birometero 440 uvuye mu murwa mukuru wa Nyenya Nairobi. Usanga abapolisi bagerageza kuzenguruka ku mazi bacunga umutekano. Abakunze gufatwa nk’indaya ni abana bato b’abangavu/ingimbi bicuruza kubera ubukene bwugarije imiryango yabo.
Abakiriya babo si abandi, ni ba mukerarugendo baturuka mu bihugu nka Leta zunze ubumwe za Amerika(USA), Ubusuwisi, Norvège cyangwa se Ubudage.
Umwe mu bana b’abakobwa bicuruza kuri aba Wazungu (nk’uko babyita mu rurimi rwaho), aherutse gutangariza ikinyamakuru cy’ishami ry’umuryango w’abibumbye riharanira uburenganzira bwa muntu ko yagiye mu busambanyi bitewe n’ubukene bw’umubyeyi we. Yagize ati “Mama ni umupfakazi kandi yacitse amaboko ye yose, ni byo bintera gukora ibi ngo tubone amaramuko.”
Uyu mwana w’umukobwa yanatangaje ko abenshi muri aba bazungu baryamana na we bamusaba kudakoresha agakingirizo bagakorera aho.
Abayobozi b’iki gihugu cya Kenya bafatanyije n’imiryango itegamiye kuri leta irwanya ubwo busambanyi, bagerageza gufata ba mukerarugendo basambanya abana bato. Gusa ngo ntibyoroshye kumenya uburemere nyakuri bw’iki kibazo.
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe muri 2006 na guverinoma ya Kenya ku bufatanye n’ishami ry’umuryango w’abibumbye ryita ku bana-UNICEF, bwerekana ko 30% by’abana b’abakobwa b’abangavu (adolescents) baturiye inkombe bishora mu buraya.
4. Hammamet (Tunisie)
Umujyi wa Hammamet ukurura ba mukerarugendo benshi kubera amahoteri

menshi yawo meza, umusenyi wo ku mazi, parike y’inyamaswa n’ibindi bintu bitandukanye.
Ikindi gikurura ba mukerarugendo ni ukwinezeza(ambience) kuhaba guturuka ku muziki uba uboneka ahenshi mu tubari n’amahoteri kandi iyi miziki ikaba isunikwa na ba DJ bakunzwe cyane.
Kimwe no mu bindi bihugu twavuze haruguru abakunze gukora umwuga w’uburaya ni abana bato cyane.
Ba mukerarugendo bakuze baba baje gufata amafu kuri ubu butaka bwiza ngo ntibihanganira utu twana duto tuteye amabengeza.
Ikibabaje ariko ngo ni uko hafi buri muntu azi iki kibazo cy’ubusambanyi ariko bose, baba abayobozi n’abaturage basanzwe, ntihagire n’ucira no hasi.
5. Kribi (Cameroun)

Kribi ni umujyi utuwe n’abaturage bagera ku bihumbi 50. Ukaba uherereye mu birometero 200 werekeza Douala, umurwa w’ubukungu wa Cameroun.
Ni umujyi uri iruhande rw’inyanja ya Atlantique. Hahora amafu n’amahumbezi aturuka ku mucanga wo ku mazi, ibiti bihateye, bingaro ziri ku mazi ndetse n’utundi dushyamba n’uduhuru twiza. Ibi byose ni byo bituma bahita “Côte d’Azur du Cameroun”.
Buri mwaka hagati y’ukwezi kwa cumi na kumwe n’ukwa mbere k’umwaka ukurikiyeho, hateranira ba mukerarugendo baturuka ahanini mu Bufaransa na Leta zunze ubumwe za Amerika.
Ikindi cy’ingenzi aba baba bahiga ngo si ikindi uretse abakobwa beza b’uburanga bw’ihoho ndetse n’abahungu bafite amasura meza kandi bashinguye b’igikundiro.
N’ubwo ngo hari imishinga myinshi ihakorera yo kwivana mu bukene, aka gace kugarijwe n’ubukene buterwa no kutagira akazi ari cyo gituma abantu bishora mu buraya bakorana n’aba ba mukerarugendo.
Aha naho kandi, abana bato b’abakobwa/abahungu ni bo bakunze kugaragara muri ubwo bucuruzi.
Ikinyamakuru cyo muri iki gihugu Le Messager, giherutse gutangaza ko kugira ngo aryamane n’umuntu wigurisha, mukerarugendo amuha ibihumbi 10 by’amafaranga y’ama CFA(15 euros) abarirwa mu bihumbi 13 by’amanyarwanda.
Kugira ngo aryamane n’umwana muto [umukobwa cg umuhungu] muri hoteli runaka bimusaba gutanga ibihumbi 60 by’ama CFA (90 euros), asaga gato ibihumbi 78 by’amanyarwanda. Aha hakaba harimo n’ayo baba bagomba kwishyura abakozi ba hoteli bamufashije kwinjiza uwo mwana.
Ibi bikorerwa mu maso y’abayobozi n’inzego zitandukanye z’umutekano; abayobozi bo bakaba barahisemo gufunga amaso bakagahitamo kubyita uburaya busanzwe.
N’ubwo mu 2007 leta ya Cameroun yashyizeho itegeko rihana ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi ndetse rikanahana abashora abana bato mu busambanyi, nta na kimwe ikora ngo ibyo bintu bicike.
Iki kibazo cya leta yicecekera gikunze kugarukwaho n’umwanditsi Amély James Koh-Bela. Wiyemeje guharanira uburenganzi bw’abagore n’abana bato. Yabigaragaje mu gitabo cye Mon combat contre la prostitution, ugenekereje mu Kinyarwanda bivuga Intambara yanjye mu kurwanya uburaya.
6. Marrakech (Maroc)
Ni umujyi uzwiho kubamo kwishimisha bidasanzwe (ambiance) kandi bigasa

nk’aho buri kintu cyose cyemewe; nta kizira kihaba.
Kuva na kera ngo uyu mujyi ushyirwa mu mijyi irangwamo ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi. Kimwe no muyindi mijyi yose twavuze haruguru, ba mukerarugendo bakururwa n’ubwiza bw’umujyi buturuka ku mahoteli, amaresitora n’utubyiniro. Ikindi cy’akarusho kikaba ngo ari abakobwa beza n’abahungu b’uburanga.
Umujyi wa Marrakech wakira ba mukerarugendo bari hagati y’ibihumbi 600 na miliyoni imwe. Kimwe cya kabiri cyabo ni abaturuka mu gihugu cy’Ubufaransa. Ubukerarugendo bwinjiriza Maroc 10% by’imari yayo.
Ba mukerarugendo ngo baba baje gushaka ahanini indaya, basa n’abatagishaka izimaze gukura ahubwa bagakunda kwirebera utwana duto ngo tugiteye amabengeza.
Abasaza baba bakeneye utwana tw’udukobwa tugifite itoto mu gihe abakecuru bo ngo baba bakeneye udusore tw’uburanga n’igikundiro tubaha ubushyuhe, utaretse n’abaryamana bahuje ibitsina.
Ibi rero bituma bakoresha indaya zimaze igihe cyangwa se zishaje bakaziha amafaranga zikabashakira utu twana duto tugifite itoto.
Urugero ni rw’umwana w’umukobwa w’imyaka umunani(8) wagurishijwe kuri mukerarugendo ku maeuro 150; ushyize mu manyarwanda asaga ibihumbi 130.
Ba mukerarugendo baza muri iki gihugu ngo iyo babonye utwana duto [uduhungu/udukobwa] ngo basa n’ababonye banu imanutse mu ijuru.
Mu mujyi wa Marrakech ngo ntibikiri ibanga; abana bato ni bo bagirwaho ingaruka n’ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi kuko ari bo bagurishwa kandi bakabona amafaranga make utaretse n’indwara banduzwa.
N’ubwo imiryango itandukanye ikomeje urugamba rwo gukoma mu nkokora ubu bucuruzi, ngo nta kigabanuka.
Najat Anwar uyoboye ishyirahamwe “Touche pas à mon enfant” avuga ko leta idashyira ingufu mu guca ubu bucuruzi bw’ibitsina itinya ko yakanga ba mukerarugendo ntibazongere kugaruka.
7. Nosy Be (Madagascar)

Ni umujyi utuwe n’abaturage bagera ku bihumbi 109, bagizwe ahanini n’urubyiruko rufite hagati y’imyaka 15 na 20 y’amavuko.
Abaturaye Nosy Be bugarijwe n’ubukene buterwa no kutagira akazi. Imibare yo mu kwezi kwa kane uyu mwaka wa 2011 yasohowe n’ikinyamakuru Midi Madagascar cyo muri iki gihugu yerekana ko 76% by’abaturage batunzwe n’ifunguro ribarirwa agaciro kari munsi y’idorari rimwe ku munsi.
Uyu mujyi w’iki kirwa cya Madagascar wakira ba mukerarugendo babarirwa mu bihumbi 400 buri mwaka.
Iyo bumaze kwira ngo aba bamukerarugendo birara mu baturage bashakisha utwana duto tw’udukobwa n’uduhungu two kuryamana natwo maze bakaduha amafaranga.
Kubera ubukene n’imibereho mibi y’imiryango ngo usanga aba bana nabo bajya kwishakira aba bazungu ngo babahe amafaranga, utaretse n’abana boherezwa n’ababyeyi babo.
Nyamara ibi byose bikorwa mu gihe hashyizweho itegeko rihana umukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi ndetse no gushora abana bato mu busambanyi.
Iri tegeko ngo risa n’aho ritagize icyo rimaze, rivuga ko ufatiwe muri icyo cyaha afungwa hagati y’imyaka 5 na 10 ndetse agacibwa amande angina na miliyoni hagati ya 2 na 10 z’ama ariarys[ifaranga rikoreshwa muri iki gihugu (hagati y’amaeuro 715 na 3.500].
Umwuga w’uburaya ndetse n’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi bwatangiye kuri iki kirwa cya Madagascar mu myaka ya 1990.
Buterwa n’ubukene bukabije, aho ngo usanga ababyeyi babura ubushobozi bwo gutunga abana babo bakabareka bakajya kwirwanaho muri abo banyaburayi bababona nka manu imanutse mu ijuru.