Ukora i Butare incuti yawe ikorera mu Ruhengeri cyangwa se uba mu Rwanda uwo mukundana aba hanze y’ u Rwanda. Kandi murakundana cyane. Ni gute mushobora kurushaho gukundana mutitaye ku birometero bibatandukanya ?
Gusa bishobora kubaho ko abakundana badahorana bitewe n’impanvu zitandukanye : akazi, amashuri, kwimuka kw’imiryango n’izindi mpamvu zitandukanye. Ibi rero ntibivuga ko mutandukanye burundu cyangwa se urukundo rwanyu ruciriye aha, nyamara hari uburyo mushobora kubyitwaramo maze mukamera nk’aho mukiri kumwe, mukirengagiza ibyo birometero bibatandukanya.
Mu bihe bya mbere ni ukwibaza ibijyanye n’imibanire yanyu wibanda mu gusubiza ibi bibazo :
Ese tubona ibintu mu buryo bumwe ? Ese njye n’uyu muntu ni mubano ki dufitanye ? Ese koko turi incuti zisanzwe cyangwa se tuzageraho tunabane ? Ese koko buri wese ashobora kureka ibye akitangira urukundo rwacu bibaye ngombwa ?Ibi bibazo buri wese ashoboye kubisubiza ukwe maze mukabihuriza hamwe byaba byiza cyane. Kandi mu bashije kubisubiza mu gitangira gukundana umwe kuba yaba kure y’undi ntacyo byaba bivuze cyane ko mwaba mwarabyemeranijwe mbere y’igihe.
Dore ibintu 10 bishobora gutuma imibanire yanyu iba myiza n’ubwo umwe yaba ari kure y’undi :
1.kubwizanya ukuri.
Mwemeye gukundana umwe ari kure y’undi. Urukundo rwanyu ruriyongereye. Mwese murakundanye pe. Dore ikintu noneho mwakagombye kwitaho : ukuri mu byo muvuga n’ibyo mukora.
Igihe muganira, mugomba kwitegura kuzana ingingo nziza kandi mukagirana ibiganiro bikomeye byubaka. Mukavugana byose ! Aha muzagira ngo muri kumwe nyamara umwe ari kure y’undi.
Ikindi ni uko niba imibanire yanyu ikunda kugaragaramo gusabana nta na rimwe muzagirana amakimbirane. Cyane ko iyo umwe ari kure byoroshye kuba wakwicecekera ariko kandi bikaba bitoroshye no kwiyunga igihe mwese mutari kumwe.
2.kwizera mugenzi wawe.
Kuba indahemuka ni kimwe mu bintu by’ibanze mu kwita ku rukundo rw’abantu batabana hafi, niba koko mubona imibanire yanyu ifite imbere heza ni byiza ko mwakwizerana ndetse mukabwirana amagambo agarurira buri umwe ikizere ndetse no kurushaho kwizerana, aha rero ntakindi cyo gukora uretse kuba umwe yabwira undi ko amukumbuye ko kandi azaza vuba ; urugero akaba yamubwira ati nzaza ku bunani, nzaza kuri Noheri, nzaza mu kwezi gutaha rwose byizere.
3. Itumanaho.
Gukunda ni ukwiyemeza gusangira byose n’uwo ukunda. Mugomba guteganya uburyo bwose bushoboka bwo kuganira cyangwa bwo gutumanaho. Mugashyiraho umwanya runaka, isaha runaka mugahamagarana kuri tel . mukohererezanya ubutumwa bwaba ubwa telefone cyangwa se amabaruwa asanzwe. Mukerekana ubushake mu kuhira urukundo rwanyu.
4. Igihe cyo kwiyitaho .
Gukundana umwe ari kure y’undi ni ugushaka igihe gihagije ntacyo ukora(temps libre). Ukaba washaka ibintu biguhuza ukabihugiraho igihe waba wamukumbuye bikaba byagufasha kubyitwaramo neza utagiye mu buriri ngo urembe ,ahubwo ugashaka ibintu ukora muri uwo mwanya ibyo bikubayeho,ugasoma ibitabo ,ugakora iyo sport maze igihe mwateganyije cyo kuvuganiraho cyagera mukaganira neza nta kibazo.
5. Gutungurana.
Urukundo rwanyu ruriyongereye ! Ni igihe cyo gutungura umukunzi wawe ukaba wamugenera impano runaka. Aha uzajya iwe maze niba koko ataritwaye neza akakubeshya naho uzahita ubimenya. Aha uzajyayo utamubwiye maze ubone igihe cyiza cyo kuba wamenya imyitwarire yagize igihe utari uhari, maze niba hari n’icyo wamuteguriye ube wanakimusigira maze wigendere naza nawe azatungurwa n’uburyo ibyo wabikoze arusheho kumva ko n’iyo udahari umuzirikana.
6. Ikoranabuhanga.
Kera nta koranabuhanga ryabagaho umuntu yakoreshaga iposta kugira ngo abe yatumanaho n’umukunzi we, ugasanga bifashe n’igihe kinini n’amakuru washakaga kumugezaho akazayabona yarabaye umuranzi. Gukundana umwe kure y’undi biragoye cyane nta tumanaho mukoresha gusa no kuza kwa telepfone n’ubundi buryo bwinshi butandukanye umuntu ashobora gukoresha e mail ndetse na za laptop ,skipe ndetse n’ibindi mushobora kuvugana n’incuti yawe igihe kirekire mukaba mwapanga gahunda nyinshi mutegura imbere hanyu mukoresheje iryo koranabuhanga.
7. Imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Buri kiremwa muntu gikenera ikindi muri kamere ya muntu ; nyamara urukundo rw’abantu batari hamwe ntiruha amahirwe aba bakundana kugirango bagire icyo bimarira . Akenshi umwe ashobora gukumbura undi hakabaho n’ubwo yakwifuza ko bahura bakaba bakora iyo mibanano ariko kandi umwe atitonze ashobora kugwa mu mutego wo guca inyuma mugenzi we kuko yaba abishatse batari kumwe, bityo hafi ye haba hari undi wabigeragezaga akaba yamugusha muri uwo mutego. Ni byiza rero kuba wahamagara umukunzi wawe ukamubwira uko byakugendekeye maze akaba yakwihanganisha ndetse akaguha inama z’uko wabyitwaramo cyane ko mushobora no kuganira gusa maze uko kumwifuza kukaba kwashira.
8. kwirinda amabwire .
Gukundana kw’abari kure, na none ni icyizere gihagije hagati yawe n’incuti yawe. Ni itegeko rikomeye rigenga urukundo rwanyu . Niba rwose uwo mukundana utamugirira ikizere gihagije ushobora kuzatungurwa no kuba watangira kumukeka wenda unamubeshyera bitewe n’amagambo y’abantu, nibyiza kugenzura ibyo ubwirwa hato ejo utazisenyera bitari ngombwa.
9.Kwirinda umurinzi .
Aba kundana bamwe na bamwe hariho igihe bashyiraho bagenzi babo ngo bazabacungire abakunzi babo, urugero nk’umuhungu ugiye i Burayi agasiga mugenzi we wari incuti ye ngo uzajye uncungira uriya mukobwa hatazagira umuntwara ,ati yewe n’icyo azajya akenera cyose ujye ukimumenyera, aha rero biragoye kuko umukobwa ashobora gucikwa kuko umuri kure akaba yakwifatira wa wundi wasize umurindishije kandi atabishakaga, umukobwa nawe agomba gukora attention kugirango bitazamubaho akaba yakunda mugenzi w’incuti ye. Kandi niba koko mukundana bihagije si na ngobwa gushyiraho uwo murinzi kugirango ejo atazangiza urukundo rwanyu, rwose si byiza na mba.
10. intego .
Gukundana umwe ari kure y’undi bisaba imbaraga nyinshi ,bisaba guhinga cyane. Ibibahuza bigomba kuba ibimenyetso by’urukundo rwanyu, ibyo buri umwe akunda bikabera undi ikimenyetso cy’urukundo amufitiye . Ni byiza kandi guha agaciro ubuzima bwanyu buri imbere, ku buzima bwanyu mwembi igihe kizaza, mukiha intego ntakuka yo kugenderaho hato ejo mutazahemukirana. Mukora ibishoboka byose n’ubwo umwe ari kure y’undi ariko rwose mukagerageza kugira ngo n’igihe muzaba muhuye muzamere nk’aho imishinga mwateguraga mwayiteguraga muri kumwe. Kandi umunyarwanda yaravuze ngo kure y’amaso si kure y’umutima , uzangaye gutinda ntuzanagaye guhera
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