Uburyo bwo Gutuma Umukobwa w'Inshuti Yawe Agukunda Cyane

 Ikintu cya mbere ku mugabo ufite umugore, ku musore ufite umukunzi cyangwa se wifuza kumugira ni ukumenya neza uko abagore muri rusange bateye.

Nk’uko umuhanga mu by’urukundo Yahya Messi mu gitabo cye, ‘Leurs Top Secrets’ abisobanura, ngo ikintu cya mbere ku bagabo ni ukumenya kwigira ku bagore.

Erega nibyo, nonese niba muri rusange, utajya wumva imiterere y’abagore, ni gute uzumva umukobwa wawe? Uzumva ute se umugore washatse, umukunzi wawe cyangwa mushiki wawe, n’inshuti yawe isanzwe y’umukobwa?

Abagore muri rusange, ni abantu bakunda umuntu ubitaho, bakunda gufata neza ibintu no kubiha agaciro mu buryo butandukanye n’ubw’abagabo. Ibi niba ushaka kubyumva neza uzabisuzume, cyangwa se wifashishe igitabo: Les hommes viennent de Mars et les femmes viennent de Venus, igitabo ushobora no kubona films documentaires zikivugaho. Iki gitabo kigaragaza neza kinifashishije ingero zifatika uburyo abagore batandukanye kure n’abagabo, uburyo hari ibintu byinshi abagabo badasobanukiwe ku bagore.

Hari aho abanditse iki gitabo batanga urugero rw’ukuntu umugabo iyo umuhamagaye umubwira ko urwaye umutwe cyane, ahita akubaza aho uri kugira ngo agushakirre ibinini abikuzanire, mu gihe umugore we abanza kukubaza ibibazo byinshi birimo aho uri, icyaba cyaguteye kunanirwa no kugira stress, agaytangira no kukubwira ibindi birimo no kuba yakwibutsa ko yari yarakubujije kunywa inzoga, … Muri rusange, ngo abagore iyo ubabwiye ko urwaye umutwe batangira kureba impamvu zaguteye kurwara umutwe, kurusha gushaka umuti w’icyo kibazo cyawe mu gihe umugabo we ngo yihutira kujya gushaka imiti gusa.

Ntabwo ari bibi pe, kuko ibi byerekana uburyo umugore muri rusange yita ku bintu kandi akabiha agaciro cyane, akantu ako ariko kose gashobora kumubabaza mu gihe ku mugabo we ibintu yitaho cyangwa bimutwarira umwanya ari bike cyane.
Uratekereza ko ikosa ari irya nde?

Yaba umugabo cyangwa umugore nta n’umwe ufite ikosa kuko Imana niyo yaturemye mu buryo butandukanye, nabyo kandi nsanga atari bibi kuko bidufasha kuzuzanya.

Nibyo koko imiterere y’abantu iratandukanye cyane, ari nayo mpamvu uzabona umugore afata umwanya we kugira ngo agutekere ibiryo ukunda, akaba azi mutwe itariki yawe y’amavuko kandi wenda wowe waranayibagirwa, akaba azi n’andi matariki akomeye mu buzima bwawe. Ibi byose abagore babikoreshwa n’urukundo baba bafitiye abagabo.

Jya wibuka kandi ko mu nkuru zose, mu migani myinshi ivuga ku bakobwa, irangira ibagaragaza nk’abamikazi, ikarangira igaragaza ko mu mpera buri mukobwa ahura n’igikomangoma (prince) cye kandi kiteguye kumuha urukundo mu buryo bwose.

Muri iyi nkuru turashaka kukwereka bimwe mu bintu abagabo batazi ku bagore kandi nyamara ari ingenzi mu mubano n’urukundo rwabo. N’ubwo bwose bidashoboka ko umukobwa/umugore abona uwo yifuza (l’homme parfait, perfect man) ariko nibura wowe musore/mugaboo gerageza kumwumvisha ko witeguye guhinduka.

Aha rero turagufasha kumenya ibyo wakora bikamushimisha bityo akarushaho kukwibonamo kurushaho kandi nawe ubwawe bitagusabye ko uhindura uko uteye cyane dore ko n’akenshi bigorana.

Dore rero ibintu usanga akenshi abagabo benshi badasobanukiwe ku bagore, kandi nyamara ari ibintu bishobora kububakira cyane:

- Abagore bakunda umuntu ubabwira ko ari beza: Kubwira umukunzi wawe kenshi gashoboka ko ari mwiza ni ikintu cy’ingenzi cyane. Aha kandi ugerageze no kumuha compliments (kumushimagiza) ku bintu bikomeye yagezeho, ku manota yabonye (niba ari umunyenshuri), kuri promotion yabonye ku kazi (umubwire ko yari abikwiye), ku mpano ze, n’ibindi.

- Kumwereka ko wiyizeye: Jya wereka umugore/umukobwa ko kuba ari inshuti yawe bigushimisha cyane, kandi ko uko bwije n’uko bukeye urushaho kumukunda. Kenshi bisa n’ibiteye isoni kuba wamusomera mu ruhame rwa benshi, ariko nibura niba muri mukugendana jya umufata ukuboko, abone nawe ko gukundana bikunezeza no kubyereka bose. Bishyire kuri bose babireba daaaa!!!

- Si byiza kumubeshya: kimwe n’abandi bantu bose burya iyo umuntu akubeshye akantu n’aho kaba ari gato, ukakamenya, birakubabaza kandi ugahita umutakariza icyizere.

- Irinde guteza intonganya mu ruhame no kuburana cyane : Ibi nabyo biri mu bintu abagore badakunda na gato, bituma basa n’aho bamwaye, bikabatera isoni,…ntibibashimisha muri rusange.

- Kumwitaho kandi wenyine: Hari abagabo benshi batekereza ko kuba muri kumwe n’abandi ari byiza kwita ku bandi bakobwa muri kumwe, niba murimo kubyina bose ukabitaho (ukababyinisha, ukabazanira ibyo kunywa,…) ariko burya wa mukobwa mukundana cyangwa wa mugore wawe rimwe na rimwe icyo witaga kuba ‘gentleman’ abifata nk’aho ari ukurengera kandi ko noneho muramuttse muttari kumwe warengera ukaba wakora n’ibindi. Rimwe na rimwe rero abibona nk’aho wamuca inyuma mu buryo bukoroheye cyane. Byirinde bitagusenyera.

- Irinde gusohokana inshuti ze utabimbwiye: Ni byiza ko umenyana n’inshuti ze, ariko burya iyo ugeze aho kujya uzisohokana utabanje kubimubwira cyangwa mutari kumwe ntibimushimisha, habe na mba. Ahubwo atangira kwibaza ko ahari harimo uwo usigaye ukunda, udashaka ko amenya; agatangira kutakwizera nabo atabasize.

-Ntuzigere ugiramo n’umwe mufitanye umubano wihariye kabone n’iyo nta kindi cyaba kibyihishe inyuma. Ikindi kandi ntukagire uwo wandikira ubutumwa bugufi muri kumwe mwese, ahita yibuka uburyo namwe byatangiye bisa no kwikinira akabona ko namwe ariho murimo kuganisha. Ni byiza kandi kumwereka ko wishimira kuba uri kumwe nawe wenyine, kurusha iyo muri kumwe mwese.

- Komeza kwiyitaho: Niba ari uwawe ntibivuze ko wafatishije bihagije ku buryo nta handi yajya. Reka da! Komeza umwereke ko uri umusore/umugabo mwiza w’igikundiro, umwereke ko rwose umukwiye kandi ko no hanze aha babona ko afite umugabo mwiza.

- Kumwitaho bihagije: Niba muri kumwe n’inshuti zawe witerura ibiganiro mu nshuti zawe ngo umere nk’aho adahari. Mwereke ko umwitayeho, mu kugenda umwiyegereze mbega umubere ingabo imukingira, umubere ukwezi kumumurikira, … Erega jya wishyira mu mwanya we, byagushimisha se niba iyo ari kumwe n’inshuti ze agufata nk’aho udahari??

- Kugaragaza isura nziza ku babyeyi be, no ku muryango we: N’iyo waba utabakunda ariko burya ni byiza kwibuka uruhare runini bafite ku mukobwa wabo, bityo ubibubahire kandi ukore ku buryo rwose urukundo rwanyu baruha umugisha.

- Gutekereza no kureba kure: Urukundo nta murongo runaka uhamye rugira wo kugenderaho. Jya rero uhora utekereza utuntu twose twamushimisha, ntugume mu bintu bimwe gusa kuko bigera aho bikamurambira, umuzanire indabyo nziza, umutegurire icyayi, niba ari ku kazi cyangwa ku ishuri umutungure ugire akantu umushyira yo mutari mwabivuganye, n’ibindi byose bishobora kumushimisha. Rimwe na rimwe umugurire impano nta kindi cyabaye,umuzanire filimi nziza muyirebane. Burya abakobwa ntabwo bakunda ibintu bihenze, baba bashaka gusa ibyo ubakorera bikuvuye ku mutima.

- Kwibuka amatariki akomeye mu buzima bwe : Iki ni ikintu wenda ahari utari uzi ariko gikomeye cyane ku bagore. Nuhora uzirikana itariki z’amavuko, ubukwe, itariki mwakundaniyeho, itariki imwibutsa ibintu bikomeye mu buzima bwe,… ntushobora kumva ukuntu azashimishwa cyane no kubona ukuntu umwitaho.

- Kwibuka ibyo akunda n’ibyo yanga: Umukobwa biramushimisha cyane kumva uzi ubwoko bw’indabyo akunda, ubwoko bwa filimi zimushimisha, ibara akunda, umunsi yanga cyangwa ibintu yanga kurusha ibindi. Ibi nabyo abibonamo urukundo rwinshi no kumwitaho cyane.

- Kumwandikira: Abagore muri rusange bakunda cyane umuntu ubitaho, biramushimisha gutaha agasanga akandiko wamusigiye ku musego, ako wamushyiriye mu isakoshi atabizi; biramushimisha cyane ko umubwira ko wagize amahirwe atabonwa na bake kuba ari uwawe. Si ngombwa ko ako kandiko kaba karekare cyangwa ari umuvugo wamuhimbiye, n’iyo kaba ari akajambo kamwe, kamugwa ku mutima.

- Kumuha umwanya: Buri mugore nk’uko twabibonye ko akunda umuntu umwitaho, jya umusaba umunsi yaguha atazaba ahuze, mwirirwane muri babiri gusa, murebane filimi, umukorere massage, umuririmbire; nta n’ikindi kinini ukoze ibyo byonyine azabigukundira pe.

- Kumwumva no kumusangiza ubuzima bwawe: Mubwire gahunda ufite, ibyo wakoze, ibyo wagezeho n’ibyakunaniye; umwumve nakugira inama, umutege amatwi yewe kabone n’aho waba utemeranywa nawe kubyo murimo kuvuganaho.

Mu bintu abagore binubira kenshi ni uko abagabo badakunda kubatega amatwi iyo barimo kubabwira inkuru. Jya umutega amatwi umwumve, umwereke ko witeguye kumwumva igihe cyose. Niba hari ikosa yakoze, yaba ari wowe yarikoreye cyangwa undi, nabikubwira ntugahite umukankamira, ahubwo jya ubanza umwumve, umugire inama, umukosore kandi byose ubikorane umutima mwiza bityo icyizere yari agufitiye kiziyongera.

- Kuba mu ruhande rwe: Buri gihe jya uba mu ruhande rwe, uko byaba bimeze kose, n’iyo yaba ariwe uri mu makosa, ugerageze kumuhana ariko kandi umwumvishe ko igihe cyose uhamubereye

- Mwereke ko nawe ashoboye: Niba mwasohokanye akakubwira ko yifuza kuba ariwe wishyura uwo munsi, jya umureka yishyure, umwereke ko nawe afite ubushobozi ko kandi umwubaha.

- Kumwitondesha: Niba mwarashakanye, si ngombwa ko buri gihe uko muryamye mukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina. Niba ubona atabishaka cyangwa se wenda atanabyiteguye, mwihorere, umuhe umwanya, umureke agire uruhare rufatika mu kwishimisha no kugushimisha.

- Kwirinda inshuti zawe za kera: si byiza kugarura abakobwa mwigeze gukundana (ex-girlfriends) , si byiza kandi ko uvuga ibyiza bari bafite bamurusha kuko ahita yumva nawe ari umwe mu bakobwa benshi mwakundanye, agatekereza ko urimo kubashyira mu gatebo kamwe; bityo cya yizere yari agufitiye kigatangira kugenda gishira, ndetse utaniyibagije ko byanatuma afuha.

Ibi byose nubikurikiza, azaguhora hafi kandi mubane mu munezero. Kenshi abantu bashobora gutandukana kandi nta n’ikintu gifatika bapfuye, gusa bigaterwa n’uko batabashije kumenyana bihagije.

Intambwe 7 Mu Kubona Umukobwa Mukundana

 

 ni gute wabona umukobwa mukundana?


 1. Ntuzigere wishyiramo ko uri gushaka umukobwa mukundana

Igihe wishyizemo ko uri gushaka umukobwa mukundana, uzatungurwa no kubona utari kumubona mu gihe wihaye. Ibaze nawe umukobwa wese ubonye ukabona arakunyuze umusabye gukundana nawe! Biroroshye cyane ko yahita akeka ko ufite akabazo mu mitekerereze, bityo bikamworohera kuguhakanira.

Ugomba kwishyiramo ko ukeneye kugirana umubano n’ abantu muri rusange, cyane ab’ igitsina gore. Wabona umukobwa wumva wishimiye ukamwegera nk’ inshuti isanzwe ukamwimenyereza, ukamwereka ko nta bintu birebire bikugenza bitari ubucuti busanzwe. Ibi bigabanya ukwigunga, bikanakongerera amahirwe yo kubona umukobwa mukundana. Mu kurushaho kumwitaho no kumuba hafi ni naho urukundo ruzabazamukamo mwembi ubundi mukaba mwaba inshuti .

2. Iyo muganira, ni byiza ko uyobora aho kuyoborwa

Ntabwo ari byiza ku muhungu gukundana n’ umukobwa kuko ari we wabishatse. Ahubwo ni wowe muhungu wihitiramo. Igihe muganira rero ujye ugerageza kuyobora ibyo muganira, ariko nyine nta terabwoba. Ibi kandi ukabikora ku buryo bitagaragarira buri wese ko ushaka kuyobora ibiganiro. Nk’ umuhungu uba ugomba kwereka umukunzi wawe ko uzamwuzuza, bishatse kuvuga ko uzamukorera byinshi atakwishoboza. Aho rero uba ugomba guhera ku biganiro kuko ariyo gahunda iba ibahuje muri icyo gihe. Muri make ntutume yicwa n’ irungu nk’ aho ibiganiro byabuze.

3. Irinde kuba wenyine

Ntabwo uzabona umukobwa mukundana kandi nta n’uwo muganira bisanzwe ufite. Menya inshuti zawe kandi ugerageze kubana nazo mu gihe cyo kwishima. Aha ndavuga nko gusohokana, gukinana, gutemberana, gusurana n’ ibindi. Ugomba kandi kumenya inshuti z’ umuntu wumva uri gukunda ubundi ukagenda umenyana nazo byanashoboka mukagira gahunda muhuriramo. Urugero niba abakobwa bagendana bakunda koga, nawe ugafata ifatabuguzi kuri piscine aho bogera. Icyo gihe nawe muzamenyana ubundi umubano usanzwe ube watangiye.

Niba kandi ushaka ko umuntu runaka muzakundana mu bihe biri imbere, ni byiza ko umuha e-mail yawe, nimero zatelefone, na facebook yawe ku buryo igihe cyose yagushaka atakubura.

4. Saba umukobwa wifuza ko mukundana ko mwasohokana

Burya ntabwo wamenya niba umuntu yaguhakanira gusangira nawe icyo kunywa igihe atarabikwibwirira. Kandi si kenshi umuntu yakwangira ko musangira. Ni byiza rero ko usaba umuntu uri kwiyumvamo ko mwasangira icyo kunywa cyangwa kuko bituma ubona umwanya wo kumwereka icyo ushoboye. Niba wumva bishobora kukugora kubimubwira amaso ku maso, ushobora kumwoherereza nk’ aka sms, cyangwa ukamuhamagara kuri telefone cyangwa se ukamwoherereza e – mail.

5. Menya neza umukobwa wifuza uwo ari we

Igihe wumva ko umukobwa muzakundana igihe kirekire, ni byiza ko uzitonda cyane mu guhitamo. Menya neza ibintu bya ngombwa umukobwa muzakundana agomba kuba afite ubundi nubibona ubone kumushaka no kumusaba urukundo.

Hari abahungu bazi uburyo bashobora gukurura umukobwa byihuse bahuriye nko mu kabyiniro, ubundi bwacya umwe agaca ukwe undi ukwe.

6. Sohokana n’ abakobwa batandukanye kugira ngo umenye neza uwo ukeneye

Umuhungu wese ugerageje gusohokana abakobwa batandukanye usanga akubwira ko uwo yabonaga mbere ko ari we akeneye, mu by’ ukuri atari we. Ikosa abantu benshi bakora ni ukwihuta cyane mu gushaka inshuti bitewe n’ uko batajya bashobora gutereta. Ibi bituma benshi bahita bafata uje mbere bitewe no kwanga kuguma ari bonyine.

Nuhitamo nabi uzabaho ubabaye cyane kurusha uko wari kuba umeze iyo uba nta muntu ufite.

Umumaro nyamukuru umugore aba amaze mu buzima bw’ umugabo ni ugutuma yishima kurusha uko yari ameze mbere y’ uko amubona. Ibi rero bivuze ko igihe ataguha ibyo byishimo atari umugore ugukwiye.

7. Jya ujya ahantu hatandukanye uhure n’ abantu bashya

Burya mu buzima iyo ugiye ahantu henshi, uhura n’ abantu benshi, bamwe ugahita ubibagirwa abandi bakaba inshuti za hafi, abandi bakaba inshuti zisanzwe, hari abo mukorana business hari n’ ababa abakobwa b’ inshuti.

Ibi kandi ntibivuze ko uzashaka guhura n’ abantu ubona mwagirana umubano wazavamo wenda urukundo. Ushobora guhura n’ umukecuru akakugeza ku mukobwa we cyangwa se umwuzukuru we.

Ushobora no guhura n’ abagore bakakugeza ku nshuti zabo z’ abakobwa cyangwa se abavandimwe babo ushobora kuzakuramo umukobwa mukundana

Ibimenyetso 18 Bishobora kugaragagaza ko Umukunzi Wawe Asigaye Aguca Inyuma

 

Abantu bamaze igihe bakundana, baba basigaye baziranye ku buryo umwe iyo yahindutse gato, undi (niba abyitayeho) ashobora guhita abibona.

Ubundi umugabo n’umugore baba basa n’aho ari umuntu umwe, yaba ari mu buryo bufatika, yaba ari mu mitekerereze n’ibindi; ibi ariko bigahinduka iyo umwe muri bo atangiye kugira ka kageso ko guca mugenzi we inyuma.

Bimwe mu bimenyetso bishobora kukwereka ko umukunzi wawe asigaye aguca inyuma:

1. Niba umukunzi wawe atangiye kugira umuco wo kuguca inyuma, akenshi uzasanga muri telefoni ye yatangiye kugenda ashyiramo code (akajambo k’ibanga) ku buryo nta wundi muntu ushobora gusoma message zirimo cyangwa kureba uwamuhamagaye. Aha rero aba asa n’utangiye kwikeka, ko ibyo arimo gukora bizamenyekana.

2. Ikindi rero, ni ukuntu aba asigaye kenshi asa n’aho kwitaba telefoni ahantu hari abandi bantu cyane cyane umukunzi we bimugoye. Usanga kenshi ajya kwitabira hanze, muri douche, agatinda kuri telefoni,..

3. Ashobora no kugaragaza ibimenyetso nko kuba usigaye umuhamagara kenshi ntakwitabe kandi ubizi ko nta nama cyangwa akazi kenshi afite muri iyo minsi.

4. Atangira kandi gufungura izindi emails udasanzwe uzi, niba hari n’iyo wari usanzwe uzi na password yayo agerageza kuyihindura kugira ngo hatazagira icyo ubona muri mails ze.

5. Ahandi ushobora kurebera n’iyo nk’umwe mu bakundana usanga iyo undi yamaraga amasaha nibura nk’abiri nta telefoni y’umukunzi we iramugeraho, wasangaga byamubabaje cyane, ariko ubu ukaba usanga yamuhamagara, atamuhamagara byose bisa n’aho ari kimwe, ibyo nabyo byerekana ko wa mwanya yamuhaga ubu hari undi asigaye yarawuhariye ku buryo bisa n’aho ntacyo bimutwaye cyane yaba abonetse cyangwa atabonetse.

6. Atangira kukwita akandi kazina k'urukundo utari usanzwe umenyereye, Har igihe aba arimo kukwitiranya n'undi mukunzi we

7. Ku bantu bashishoza cyane, ushobora kumva umuhumuro wa parfum(cyane cyane ku bagabo) utandukanye n’ uwo usanzwe umuziho.

8. Hari n’igihe akenshi cyane cyane ku bantu bashakanye usanga niba mwari mumenyereye ko nibura mutera akabariro nka gatatu mu cyumweru, ugasanga n’ibyumweru bibiri bishize ntacyo mwibwira, ukabona rwose ntabyitayeho cyane,… nabyo bishobora kukwereka ko asigaye afite ahandi ahugira ku buryo rwose atakibishidukira cyane.

9. Ikindi niba hari umwanya yajyaga agenera urugo ubu arasa n’utakiwufite, za mission z’akazi za hato na hato, week end akazi karakomeza, kageza ninjoro, …

10. Amafaranga yinjiraga mu rugo atangira kugabanuka ku buryo bugaragara; niba musanzwe mufite uburyo bwo guhana amakuru ku byerekeranye n’ikoreshwa ry’amafaranga yanyu mwembi birahagarara

11. Usanga kandi atangira guhindura imico, ukabona arasa n’aho ari umuntu mushya utari uwo usanzwe uzi.

12. Nta hantu agishaka ko mujyana, kandi mbere yarishimiraga cyane kugendana nawe, agufashe ukuboko.

13. Usanga kandi atangira kugenda asa n’utagishishikajwe n’ibyo mu rugo; niba mwubatse mufitanye n’abana, ibyo kwita ku masabukuru yabo no kuba ari mu rugo mu munsi mukuru wabo ugasanga byaragabanutse.

14. Inshuti zanyu mwembi, zitangira kugenda zikwishisha, wenda kuko zizi uburyo aguca inyuma ariko zikabura uko zikubwira ngo zitarusenya…

15. Usanga kenshi abo bantu baca inyuma abakunzi babo batishimira na gato kumva ibiganiro bijyanye n’abagabo/abagore baca inyuma abafasha babo, ahubwo ugasanga arimo kubaburanira cyane,…

16. Aha kandi usanga akenshi asigaye akunda gutinda kuri computer cyane wagiye kuryama, akenshi kubera ko yahanye gahunda n’undi ngo bahurire kuri chat.

17. Kenshi muri telefoni ye uzasanga ari telefoni zamuhamagaye ari izo we yahamagaye, ari ubutumwa yabonye n’ubwo yohereje byose abisiba, ku buryo ushobora kwibaza niba iyo telefoni ikoreshwa bikakuyobera.

18. Ikindi kandi ni uko akenshi usanga asa n’utakishimiye cyane ko umwerekana mu bantu b’inshuti zawe, niba umusabye ko hari aho mujyana agatangira kukubaza ibibazo byinshi.

KUNYAZA:POSITIONS ZO GUSWERA UNYAZA

KUNYAZA:GUSWERA UMUGORE AKANYARA.KUNYAZA NI UBURYO BURYOHA BWO GUSWERA,BUSHIMISHA UMUGORE N'UMUGABO

I.KUNYAZA:POSITIONS ZO GUSWERA UNYAZA

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA WICAJE KU BITSITSINO

Umwicaza ku butsitsino maze amaguru akayarenza hejuru y'ibibero byawe agafata hasi yishingikirije ibiganze bye maze ukamuswera ukamunyaza yajya gusohora ukamufata mu mugongo kugira ngo atisimbiza kubera uburyohe bwinshi akavunika.

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA WICAJE KU NTEBE

N'uburyo bwiza cyane bwo kunyaza kuko ntawe buvuna kandi wicara ku ntebe y'urukiko n'umugore bikaba uko mukegerana maze amaguru yanyu agasobekerana aye akayahagarika ku tubaho ku ruhande bigatuma igituba cye cyiza imbere cyane noneho ukamunyaza. Ubu buryo bwo guswera ntibuvuna. Bifasha umugongo kutaruha kandi akanyara neza kuko umugongo urambuye.

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA UHAGAZE

Ni uburyo bwo guswera buryoha nabwo. Munyuranya amaguru maze ukamutazura agasa nuteye intambwe, ukuguru kumwe ku ntebe,ku gitanda,cyangwa se ikindi kintu kigiye hejuru ho gatoya ukundi hasi; ugafata umutwe w’imboro ukajya uwukomanga kuri rugongo maze rugongo igashibura ibinyare ariko yuhagira umugabo umubiri wepfo wose. Ubu buryo bwo guswera unyaza bukunze gukoreshwa igihe abantu badafite umwanya n'aho kubikorera heza ariko bamwe bagahitamo kutabihomba bakabikorera ahantu nko mu bikoni,mu iduka,mu ishuri,ku modoka, muri biro n'ahandi bitashoboka ko baryama .Kuko abantu icyo gihe basohorera hasi bisaba kongera guhita utunganya aho mwabikoreye.

II.UBURYO BWO GUSWERA UNYAZA

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA N'URUTOKI

Iyo umugore ashyutswe umuswera ufashe umutwe w'imboro maze ukayikomanga kuri rugongo ugacumita nka rimwe mu masegonda 100 ukamushimisha inkonji wazamura imboro igakora hagati yimishino maze umugore akarekura amazi wamanura nanone imboro igakusha imishino maze hakavubuka ibinyare.

• GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:KUNYATIRIZA

Ni uburyo buryohera abagore ukubita imboro hagati y'imishino yombi maze ukajya uzamura umanura icyo gihe umugore aritsa ahumeka ukabona ko aryohewe,ubikora nk'imashini ntumutekereze kugera aho amisha ibikari bishyushye inshuro zose ushaka.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUTSIBURA

Uswera ufashe imboro ukayitsibagura kuri rugongo uyikoza ku mutwe wayo maze ugatsibura gahoro ku mishino nk'uko baca umugani mu kinyarwanda ngo'umushishi w'umushino ntushira inogonra' maze agasoko kari hagati y'imishino kagatungereza maze ukungikanya akanyara .

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUKUNGUTA

Ni uburyo bumara umugore ishwira.Imboro uyinjiza mu gituba ugafata umutwe wayo maze ugakunguta ujyana mu mpande zose z'igituba hepfo no haruguru mu mpande no mu muzenguruko wacyo. Abagore bafite imbyaro nyinshi barabikunda, bamena amavangingo menshi avanze n'urukonda.
Umugore ukungutwa cyane ubona ahorana umwera ariko anezerewe ku buryo iyo atabibona arwara za rubagimpande ndetse no mu nda.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUKAMA

Ufata imboro ishyutswe ukayinjiza mu marebe y'igituba maze ugafata imishino ukayikurura usa n'uyipima ku mboro maze ukayifatana nimboro maze ukazunguza umanura uzamura utambitse ariko ukoza imboro kuri Rugongo. Imishino ihita ireta nk'amabere maze ikivuruganya.
Ugomba kwitonda kuko umushino ushobora gucika cyagwa ugakomereka mu gihe ugize cyane UTARIMO GUCUNGA.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:KUJABAGIRA

Ufata isonga y'ururimi ukayipima hagati y'imishino na rugongo maze ukajabagira nk'imbwa inywa amata yatangira kunyara ugapfundikiza isonga mu kenge kazana amavangingo maze agasa nuhejeje umwuka ukarekura maze agasa n'aho acitse amaferi.
Ugomba kwirinda kumira amavangingo kandi bikorerwa umuntu wapimishije ko adafite imiteziCYANGWA IZINDI NDWARA ZANDURIRA MU MYANYA NDANGABITSINA kuko ushobora kuyandura mu kanwa, uko igituba kinuka afite imitezi ni nako mu kanwa hawe hanuka/wabigirira umugore wawe gusa nabwo uzi neza ko adasambana.

*GUSWERA NO KUNYAZA:GUKAMISHA

Umukobwa ahenesha undi cyangwa umuhungu udashaka guswera akoresheje imboro maze agashyira urutoki mu kibuno kugeza aho ruhenengeye maze wakunva asa n'uniha ugasakuma imishino ugasa nuyikama ugarura mu muraru we maze buri uko usesetse urutoki ugakama imishino ye, ahita asuka amazi agataka akarangiza.
Icyitonderwa: ushobora gukomeretsa inyama zo mu nda iyo ufite inzara ndende.

Sobanukirwa n’ibimenyetso 3 bishobora kukwereka ko umukobwa w’inshuti yawe aguca inyuma

 Sobanukirwa n’ibimenyetso 3 bishobora kukwereka ko umukobwa w’inshuti yawe aguca inyuma

Burya ngo birashoboka cyane ko ushobora kuba ukundana n’umukobwa ndetse cyane, bigashyuha urukundo rwanyu rukaka n’abantu benshi kakabibona ndetse nawe muhungu ubwawe ukabyibonera ukanabyiyumvamo ko mukundana, ariko igihe kikagera, umukobwa akagira atya akagukundiraho undi ari byo bikunze kwitwa guca inyuma. Iki kintu rero ngo iyo kibaye ku musore/umuhungu arababara cyane.

Urubuga http://catchmycheatinglover.com ruvuga ko ngo burya atari byiza ko utagomba kumva ko byarangiye  uwo mukundana adashobora kuba yaguca inyuma, aha ngo ni byiza kuba maso kandi ukagenzura igihe ubona hari icyahindutse bitewe n’uko mwari musanzwe mubanye. Mu gihe rero ngo ukeka cyangwa ubona ko mu rukundo rwanyu bitagenda neza, genzura ibibimenyetso 3 uzamenyeraho ko yaba aguca inyuma:
  
1. Guhindura imyambarire n’imyirimbishirize

Ubusanzwe ngo abakobwa mu mibereho yabo bagira umuco wo gukunda  gusa neza no kwambara bakaberwa kandi burya ngo iyo babikoze hari uwo baba bashaka gushimisha. Rero ngo igihe uzabona umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yadukanye imyambarire atari asanganywe kandi akayihindura atakubwiye (atakugishije inama) ngo umenye ko urukundo rwawe na we rwajemo undi muntu, bityo akaba yahinduye imyambarire kugira ngo ashimishe uwo wundi kuko ngo hari n’igihe uzasanga rwose ibyo yambaye cyangwa se ubwoko bw’umubavu yiteye ndetse n’indi mitako agiye gukoresha mu kwirimbisha Atari byo wowe usanzwe ukunda. Icyo gihe  rero byitondemo ushishoze kuko ngo wasanga aba arimo kubikora agira ngo ashimishe undi utari wowe.

2. Kutakwitaho nka mbere

Ubundi ngo ikizakubwira ko  hari ikintu kitagenda neza hagati yawe n’umukobwa w’inshuti yawe  ni uko uzabona atakikwitaho cyangwa ngo  akwiyumvemo nka mbere. Aha ngo uzabona inshuro yaguhamagaraga kuri telephone zagabanutse, agabanye gushaka kubonana nawe amaso ku maso ndetse  kukubitsa amabanga ye no kugushyira muri gahunda ze za buri munsi bigabanuke kuko afite uwo abibasangiza. Aha rero, ngo ubonye bimeze bitya cunga neza kuko ashobora kuba afite undi abagabanya urukundo bigatuma urwo yaguhaga rugabanuka ndetse ngo uzasanga byinshi byarahindutse nko kubona atangiye kujya abihirwa muri kumwe, kutishimira gusangira amwe mu mabanga y’urukundo, kugabanya ibintu mwakoranaga mwembi mukishima, kugabanya umwanya  yaguhaga, kutakwereka inshuti ze no kudashaka ko umenya amakuru y’umuryango we nka mbere n’ibindi. Igihe ibi bitangiye kuba, umenye ko hari ubyihishe inyuma ari kubasangiza urukundo.

3. Kuguhisha amabanga  amwe n’amwe yo kuri telefoni

Niba umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yatangiye kujya ahamagarwa n’abantu kenshi  kandi ntakwereke abo ari bo ndetse agashaka kwanga no kubitaba  igihe muri kumwe, kwita abantu amazina adasobanutse, kwakira ubutumwa bugufi akanga ko ubureba, kwanga kukwereka nimero imaze kumuhamagara , gusiba nimero imaze kumuhamagara ndetse no gusiba ubutumwa bugufi (messages) akimara kubusoma no gusiba izo umwandikira muri telephone ye n’ibindi burya ngo ni bimwe mu byakagombye kukwereka aho urukundo rwawe na we rugeze ndetse ni na cyo gihe cyo kumenya ko yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Mu gihe rero ubibonye gutya, hita umenya ko ashobora kuba yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Ikindi kandi, ibi biba biganisha ku ndunduro y’urukundo mwari mufitanye.
Birababaza rero ngo kumenya ko umukunzi wawe aguca inyuma ariko ngo bikababaza kurushaho iyo wisanze baguca inyuma hashize igihe, mbese amazi yararenze inkombe ntacyo ukiramiye. Ngo ni byiza rero ko mudakunda buhumyi ahubwo muba mugomba umunsi ku wudi kugenzura ko nta cyahindutse ku rukundo, bityo wabona kimwe muri biriya bimenyetso bikwereka ko umukobwa yaba aguca inyuma ukaba wagira icyo ukora  ukaramira urukundo rwanyu hakiri mu maguru mashya.

Burya ngo birashoboka cyane ko ushobora kuba ukundana n’umukobwa ndetse cyane, bigashyuha urukundo rwanyu rukaka n’abantu benshi kakabibona ndetse nawe muhungu ubwawe ukabyibonera ukanabyiyumvamo ko mukundana, ariko igihe kikagera, umukobwa akagira atya akagukundiraho undi ari byo bikunze kwitwa guca inyuma. Iki kintu rero ngo iyo kibaye ku musore/umuhungu arababara cyane.

Urubuga http://catchmycheatinglover.com ruvuga ko ngo burya atari byiza ko utagomba kumva ko byarangiye  uwo mukundana adashobora kuba yaguca inyuma, aha ngo ni byiza kuba maso kandi ukagenzura igihe ubona hari icyahindutse bitewe n’uko mwari musanzwe mubanye. Mu gihe rero ngo ukeka cyangwa ubona ko mu rukundo rwanyu bitagenda neza, genzura ibibimenyetso 3 uzamenyeraho ko yaba aguca inyuma:
  
1. Guhindura imyambarire n’imyirimbishirize

Ubusanzwe ngo abakobwa mu mibereho yabo bagira umuco wo gukunda  gusa neza no kwambara bakaberwa kandi burya ngo iyo babikoze hari uwo baba bashaka gushimisha. Rero ngo igihe uzabona umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yadukanye imyambarire atari asanganywe kandi akayihindura atakubwiye (atakugishije inama) ngo umenye ko urukundo rwawe na we rwajemo undi muntu, bityo akaba yahinduye imyambarire kugira ngo ashimishe uwo wundi kuko ngo hari n’igihe uzasanga rwose ibyo yambaye cyangwa se ubwoko bw’umubavu yiteye ndetse n’indi mitako agiye gukoresha mu kwirimbisha Atari byo wowe usanzwe ukunda. Icyo gihe  rero byitondemo ushishoze kuko ngo wasanga aba arimo kubikora agira ngo ashimishe undi utari wowe.

2. Kutakwitaho nka mbere

Ubundi ngo ikizakubwira ko  hari ikintu kitagenda neza hagati yawe n’umukobwa w’inshuti yawe  ni uko uzabona atakikwitaho cyangwa ngo  akwiyumvemo nka mbere. Aha ngo uzabona inshuro yaguhamagaraga kuri telephone zagabanutse, agabanye gushaka kubonana nawe amaso ku maso ndetse  kukubitsa amabanga ye no kugushyira muri gahunda ze za buri munsi bigabanuke kuko afite uwo abibasangiza. Aha rero, ngo ubonye bimeze bitya cunga neza kuko ashobora kuba afite undi abagabanya urukundo bigatuma urwo yaguhaga rugabanuka ndetse ngo uzasanga byinshi byarahindutse nko kubona atangiye kujya abihirwa muri kumwe, kutishimira gusangira amwe mu mabanga y’urukundo, kugabanya ibintu mwakoranaga mwembi mukishima, kugabanya umwanya  yaguhaga, kutakwereka inshuti ze no kudashaka ko umenya amakuru y’umuryango we nka mbere n’ibindi. Igihe ibi bitangiye kuba, umenye ko hari ubyihishe inyuma ari kubasangiza urukundo.

3. Kuguhisha amabanga  amwe n’amwe yo kuri telefoni

Niba umukobwa w’inshuti yawe yatangiye kujya ahamagarwa n’abantu kenshi  kandi ntakwereke abo ari bo ndetse agashaka kwanga no kubitaba  igihe muri kumwe, kwita abantu amazina adasobanutse, kwakira ubutumwa bugufi akanga ko ubureba, kwanga kukwereka nimero imaze kumuhamagara , gusiba nimero imaze kumuhamagara ndetse no gusiba ubutumwa bugufi (messages) akimara kubusoma no gusiba izo umwandikira muri telephone ye n’ibindi burya ngo ni bimwe mu byakagombye kukwereka aho urukundo rwawe na we rugeze ndetse ni na cyo gihe cyo kumenya ko yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Mu gihe rero ubibonye gutya, hita umenya ko ashobora kuba yatangiye kuguca inyuma. Ikindi kandi, ibi biba biganisha ku ndunduro y’urukundo mwari mufitanye.
Birababaza rero ngo kumenya ko umukunzi wawe aguca inyuma ariko ngo bikababaza kurushaho iyo wisanze baguca inyuma hashize igihe, mbese amazi yararenze inkombe ntacyo ukiramiye. Ngo ni byiza rero ko mudakunda buhumyi ahubwo muba mugomba umunsi ku wudi kugenzura ko nta cyahindutse ku rukundo, bityo wabona kimwe muri biriya bimenyetso bikwereka ko umukobwa yaba aguca inyuma ukaba wagira icyo ukora  ukaramira urukundo rwanyu hakiri mu maguru mashya.

Imijyi 7 yo muri Afurika iza ku isonga mu busambanyi n’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi

Ubusanzwe ubukerarugendo buzana amafaranga menshi mu gihugu bikanafasha kuzamura ubukungu bw’igihugu. Ukurikiye ayo mafaranga ntiwamenya ko abaza mu bukerarugendo batagenzwa na kamwe.
Hari abagenzwa no kureba ibyiza nyaburanga( parc, ingagi, ibirango by’amateka) ndetse no gufata akaruhuko ku nkombe z’amazi y’ibiyaga n’umucanga bifite amafu n’ubwiza(plage). Nyamara ariko na none hari abaza baje kwishakira igitsina. Aha ni ukuvuga ko hari abagabo/abasore baza bashaka abakobwa bo kuryamana nabo n’abagore/abakobwa baza bashaka abagabo bo kuryamana nabo bakabaha amafaranga.
Ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi [ tourisme sexuel/sex tourism] ni kimwe mu bibazo bigaraga ku isi ariko cyane cyane mu bihugu bikennye bikiri mu nzira y’amajyambere.
Abakunze gukora ibi ni abazungu n’abandi bantu baturuka mu bihugu bikize, baza gushuka abo mu bihugu bikennye.
Ikibazo ngo si icy’ubusambanyi cyangwa se kwigurisha kuko ntaho indaya zitaba na cyane ko ziba zikuze kandi bakaryamana babanje kumvikana.
Ikibazo kinini kigaragara ngo ni uko aba bazungu cyangwa se aba bakire baza gushuka utwana duto tw’udukobwa n’uduhungu, utwinshi tuba tutarageza ku myaka 18 y’amavuko.
Ubu bukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi bugaragara mu migabane hafi ya yose igize isi.
Umugabane wa Afurika na wo ntiwasizwe inyuma, dore ko abaturage bo mu bihugu byinshi bakennye ari na cyo gituma bikabya cyane.
Usanga abana bato b’ingimbi n’abangavu bishora mu buraya kubera abo bazungu baba babaha amafaranga ariko kandi hari n’ababyeyi bashora abana babo muri ubu buraya kugira ngo babone imibereho.
Tariki ya 22 nyakanga 2011, ikinyamakuru Slate cyasohoye imijyi ya Afurika 7 irangwamo ubusambanyi ndetse n’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi kurusha iyindi muri Afurika.
Iyi mijyi ni nayo igaragaramo uburaya bukorwa n’abana bato ndetse n’abantu bakuru basambanya aba bana ari byo bita-Pedophilie- mu gifaransa.
Aha ni naho haboneka ubucuruzi bw’abana, b’aba abakobwa/abahungu, bashorwa muri ubu busambanyi mu bahoteri n’ububari byo muri iyi mijyi.
Umugabane wa Afurika ubaye indiri y’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi nyuma Aziya na Amerika y’amajyepfo(Amerique Latine) byari bigezweo vuba.
Iyo mijyi irindwi n’ibihugu byayo ni bikurikira:
1. Saly (Sénégal)

Saly, ni umujyi muto wo mu gihugu cya Sénégal uherereye mu birometero 90 uvuye mu murwa mukuru Dakar.
Uyu mujyi urangwamo amahoteri meza n’amaresitora akomeye, utubyiniro ndetse n’umucanga wo ku mazi y’inyanja(plage) bikurura abantu benshi bo mu bihugu bikize.
Ibi bintu bihari bituma uyu mujyi ufatwa nk’ahantu hambere heza hakurura abantu muri Afurika y’Uburengerazuba.
Saly kandi ifatwa nk’umurwa wa mbere uberamo ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi. Iyi nyandiko twashyize mu Kinyarwanda igira iti “Ni umujyi w’abasaza n’abakecuru bo mu bihugu bikize[Occidentaux vieillissants] ba bashaka gusogongera ku busugi n’uburanga bw’abana bat aba Senegal.”
Abana b’abakobwa bato, abakiri mu bwangavu(adolescence) ndetse n’ababusohotsemo vuba nibo basambana n’aba basaza babashukisha amafaranga nabo bakabaha imibiri yabo.
Ubu busambanyi butuma abantu bamwe bapfa abandi bagatabwa muri yombi n’inzego z’umutekano bitewe n’aba bana.
Urugero rwabaye muri uyu mujyi ni Umufaransakazi w’imyaka 65 y’amavuko wari waje kureba abana bato b’abahungu ni uko uwo bari bararanye muri hoteli amwiba ibintu bye byose amusiga iheruheru. Byatumye uwo mukecuru ahitamo kwiyahuza umuti wica udukoko ni uko apfira mu cyumba cy’iyo hoteli.
Urundi rugero ni uruherutse gutangazwa n’ikinyamakuru L’Epress, aho abagabo bane b’Abafaransa bakatiwe hagati y’imyaka 2 na 10 kubera kuryamana n’umwana w’umukobwa w’imyaka 10 bamuhaye amaeuro 150, ni ukuvuga asaga ibihumbi 129 by’amanyarwanda.
Ubwiyongere bw’uburaya bushorwamo abana ndetse n’uburemere bw’iki kibazo bwatumye hashingwa muri 2002 umuryango utegamiye kuri leta “Avenir de l’enfant” wo kuburwanya no guharanira uburenganzira bw’abana muri iki gihugu.
2. Kampala (Ouganda)
Igihugu cya Ouganda ni kimwe mu bihugu bifite politike zishyigikiye kandi ziteza imbere ubukerarugendo. Umurwa mukuru wacyo Kampala ukunze kugendwa n’abantu benshi baturuka mu bihugu bikize baje kuhasura.

Gusa ngo aba baza atari uko bakurikiye ubwiza bw’iki gihugu, dore ko kinakennye(35% baba munsi y’umurongo w’ubukene) ahubwo ari ukwirebera abo bafatanya kuryoherwa n’ubuzima bwabo.
Iyo bigeze igihe cya ninjoro, ba mukerarugendo bigira mu tubari, amahoteri n’utubyiniro tuba muri Kampala. Aha niho bahurira n’abakobwa n’abahungu bigurisha.
Imibare yerekana ko abakora uyu mwuga mu gihugu cya Ouganda, umubare munini ugizwe n’abana batarava mu gihe cy’ubwangavu n’ubugimbi.
Aba bishora mu busambanyi kubera ubukene buba mu miryango yabo, bashaka icyababeshaho n’uburyo bafasha imiryango yabo.
Umwihariko mu gihugu cya Ouganda ngo ni uko usanga ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi buzwi cyane kandi busa n’aho bwemewe mu gihe ibindi bihugu byo muri Afurika y’uburengerazuba byo bibihisha.
Hari yemwe ngo n’abandika ku mbuga za internet uburyo baryamana n’abakobwa bo muri iki gihugu bavuga n’uburyo bazajyayo n’ibyo bakoze byose. Uru rubuga ry’umuntu ku giti cye (blog) rwagiyeho muri 2004 ngo hari abandikaho uko ikimero cy’abakobwa bo muri Ouganda kimeze n’ibyiza byabo, ibiciro byabo ndetse n’amayeri yo gukoresha kugira ngo ubabone. Abandi usanga badatinya gushyiraho abafoto yabo bakora imibanono mpuzabitsina n’abo bakobwa.
Igitangaje ariko ngo ni uko n’inzego z’umutekano ndetse n’ubuyobozi bwose bubizi ariko bakabyirengagiza.
Mu 2009, Inteko ishingamategeko ya Ouganda yatoye itegeko rihana ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi no gushora abana mu buraya. Nyamara ariko ngo bose basa n’abapfutse amaso yabo banavunira ibiti mu matwi.
3. Mombasa (Kenya)

Mombasa ni umujyi uri ku cyambu uherereye mu birometero 440 uvuye mu murwa mukuru wa Nyenya Nairobi. Usanga abapolisi bagerageza kuzenguruka ku mazi bacunga umutekano. Abakunze gufatwa nk’indaya ni abana bato b’abangavu/ingimbi bicuruza kubera ubukene bwugarije imiryango yabo.
Abakiriya babo si abandi, ni ba mukerarugendo baturuka mu bihugu nka Leta zunze ubumwe za Amerika(USA), Ubusuwisi, Norvège cyangwa se Ubudage.
Umwe mu bana b’abakobwa bicuruza kuri aba Wazungu (nk’uko babyita mu rurimi rwaho), aherutse gutangariza ikinyamakuru cy’ishami ry’umuryango w’abibumbye riharanira uburenganzira bwa muntu ko yagiye mu busambanyi bitewe n’ubukene bw’umubyeyi we. Yagize ati “Mama ni umupfakazi kandi yacitse amaboko ye yose, ni byo bintera gukora ibi ngo tubone amaramuko.”
Uyu mwana w’umukobwa yanatangaje ko abenshi muri aba bazungu baryamana na we bamusaba kudakoresha agakingirizo bagakorera aho.
Abayobozi b’iki gihugu cya Kenya bafatanyije n’imiryango itegamiye kuri leta irwanya ubwo busambanyi, bagerageza gufata ba mukerarugendo basambanya abana bato. Gusa ngo ntibyoroshye kumenya uburemere nyakuri bw’iki kibazo.
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe muri 2006 na guverinoma ya Kenya ku bufatanye n’ishami ry’umuryango w’abibumbye ryita ku bana-UNICEF, bwerekana ko 30% by’abana b’abakobwa b’abangavu (adolescents) baturiye inkombe bishora mu buraya.
4. Hammamet (Tunisie)
Umujyi wa Hammamet ukurura ba mukerarugendo benshi kubera amahoteri

menshi yawo meza, umusenyi wo ku mazi, parike y’inyamaswa n’ibindi bintu bitandukanye.
Ikindi gikurura ba mukerarugendo ni ukwinezeza(ambience) kuhaba guturuka ku muziki uba uboneka ahenshi mu tubari n’amahoteri kandi iyi miziki ikaba isunikwa na ba DJ bakunzwe cyane.
Kimwe no mu bindi bihugu twavuze haruguru abakunze gukora umwuga w’uburaya ni abana bato cyane.
Ba mukerarugendo bakuze baba baje gufata amafu kuri ubu butaka bwiza ngo ntibihanganira utu twana duto tuteye amabengeza.
Ikibabaje ariko ngo ni uko hafi buri muntu azi iki kibazo cy’ubusambanyi ariko bose, baba abayobozi n’abaturage basanzwe, ntihagire n’ucira no hasi.
5. Kribi (Cameroun)

Kribi ni umujyi utuwe n’abaturage bagera ku bihumbi 50. Ukaba uherereye mu birometero 200 werekeza Douala, umurwa w’ubukungu wa Cameroun.
Ni umujyi uri iruhande rw’inyanja ya Atlantique. Hahora amafu n’amahumbezi aturuka ku mucanga wo ku mazi, ibiti bihateye, bingaro ziri ku mazi ndetse n’utundi dushyamba n’uduhuru twiza. Ibi byose ni byo bituma bahita “Côte d’Azur du Cameroun”.
Buri mwaka hagati y’ukwezi kwa cumi na kumwe n’ukwa mbere k’umwaka ukurikiyeho, hateranira ba mukerarugendo baturuka ahanini mu Bufaransa na Leta zunze ubumwe za Amerika.
Ikindi cy’ingenzi aba baba bahiga ngo si ikindi uretse abakobwa beza b’uburanga bw’ihoho ndetse n’abahungu bafite amasura meza kandi bashinguye b’igikundiro.
N’ubwo ngo hari imishinga myinshi ihakorera yo kwivana mu bukene, aka gace kugarijwe n’ubukene buterwa no kutagira akazi ari cyo gituma abantu bishora mu buraya bakorana n’aba ba mukerarugendo.
Aha naho kandi, abana bato b’abakobwa/abahungu ni bo bakunze kugaragara muri ubwo bucuruzi.
Ikinyamakuru cyo muri iki gihugu Le Messager, giherutse gutangaza ko kugira ngo aryamane n’umuntu wigurisha, mukerarugendo amuha ibihumbi 10 by’amafaranga y’ama CFA(15 euros) abarirwa mu bihumbi 13 by’amanyarwanda.
Kugira ngo aryamane n’umwana muto [umukobwa cg umuhungu] muri hoteli runaka bimusaba gutanga ibihumbi 60 by’ama CFA (90 euros), asaga gato ibihumbi 78 by’amanyarwanda. Aha hakaba harimo n’ayo baba bagomba kwishyura abakozi ba hoteli bamufashije kwinjiza uwo mwana.
Ibi bikorerwa mu maso y’abayobozi n’inzego zitandukanye z’umutekano; abayobozi bo bakaba barahisemo gufunga amaso bakagahitamo kubyita uburaya busanzwe.
N’ubwo mu 2007 leta ya Cameroun yashyizeho itegeko rihana ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi ndetse rikanahana abashora abana bato mu busambanyi, nta na kimwe ikora ngo ibyo bintu bicike.
Iki kibazo cya leta yicecekera gikunze kugarukwaho n’umwanditsi Amély James Koh-Bela. Wiyemeje guharanira uburenganzi bw’abagore n’abana bato. Yabigaragaje mu gitabo cye Mon combat contre la prostitution, ugenekereje mu Kinyarwanda bivuga Intambara yanjye mu kurwanya uburaya.
6. Marrakech (Maroc)
Ni umujyi uzwiho kubamo kwishimisha bidasanzwe (ambiance) kandi bigasa

nk’aho buri kintu cyose cyemewe; nta kizira kihaba.
Kuva na kera ngo uyu mujyi ushyirwa mu mijyi irangwamo ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi. Kimwe no muyindi mijyi yose twavuze haruguru, ba mukerarugendo bakururwa n’ubwiza bw’umujyi buturuka ku mahoteli, amaresitora n’utubyiniro. Ikindi cy’akarusho kikaba ngo ari abakobwa beza n’abahungu b’uburanga.
Umujyi wa Marrakech wakira ba mukerarugendo bari hagati y’ibihumbi 600 na miliyoni imwe. Kimwe cya kabiri cyabo ni abaturuka mu gihugu cy’Ubufaransa. Ubukerarugendo bwinjiriza Maroc 10% by’imari yayo.
Ba mukerarugendo ngo baba baje gushaka ahanini indaya, basa n’abatagishaka izimaze gukura ahubwa bagakunda kwirebera utwana duto ngo tugiteye amabengeza.
Abasaza baba bakeneye utwana tw’udukobwa tugifite itoto mu gihe abakecuru bo ngo baba bakeneye udusore tw’uburanga n’igikundiro tubaha ubushyuhe, utaretse n’abaryamana bahuje ibitsina.
Ibi rero bituma bakoresha indaya zimaze igihe cyangwa se zishaje bakaziha amafaranga zikabashakira utu twana duto tugifite itoto.
Urugero ni rw’umwana w’umukobwa w’imyaka umunani(8) wagurishijwe kuri mukerarugendo ku maeuro 150; ushyize mu manyarwanda asaga ibihumbi 130.
Ba mukerarugendo baza muri iki gihugu ngo iyo babonye utwana duto [uduhungu/udukobwa] ngo basa n’ababonye banu imanutse mu ijuru.
Mu mujyi wa Marrakech ngo ntibikiri ibanga; abana bato ni bo bagirwaho ingaruka n’ubukerarugendo bushingiye ku busambanyi kuko ari bo bagurishwa kandi bakabona amafaranga make utaretse n’indwara banduzwa.
N’ubwo imiryango itandukanye ikomeje urugamba rwo gukoma mu nkokora ubu bucuruzi, ngo nta kigabanuka.
Najat Anwar uyoboye ishyirahamwe “Touche pas à mon enfant” avuga ko leta idashyira ingufu mu guca ubu bucuruzi bw’ibitsina itinya ko yakanga ba mukerarugendo ntibazongere kugaruka.
7. Nosy Be (Madagascar)

Ni umujyi utuwe n’abaturage bagera ku bihumbi 109, bagizwe ahanini n’urubyiruko rufite hagati y’imyaka 15 na 20 y’amavuko.
Abaturaye Nosy Be bugarijwe n’ubukene buterwa no kutagira akazi. Imibare yo mu kwezi kwa kane uyu mwaka wa 2011 yasohowe n’ikinyamakuru Midi Madagascar cyo muri iki gihugu yerekana ko 76% by’abaturage batunzwe n’ifunguro ribarirwa agaciro kari munsi y’idorari rimwe ku munsi.
Uyu mujyi w’iki kirwa cya Madagascar wakira ba mukerarugendo babarirwa mu bihumbi 400 buri mwaka.
Iyo bumaze kwira ngo aba bamukerarugendo birara mu baturage bashakisha utwana duto tw’udukobwa n’uduhungu two kuryamana natwo maze bakaduha amafaranga.
Kubera ubukene n’imibereho mibi y’imiryango ngo usanga aba bana nabo bajya kwishakira aba bazungu ngo babahe amafaranga, utaretse n’abana boherezwa n’ababyeyi babo.
Nyamara ibi byose bikorwa mu gihe hashyizweho itegeko rihana umukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi ndetse no gushora abana bato mu busambanyi.
Iri tegeko ngo risa n’aho ritagize icyo rimaze, rivuga ko ufatiwe muri icyo cyaha afungwa hagati y’imyaka 5 na 10 ndetse agacibwa amande angina na miliyoni hagati ya 2 na 10 z’ama ariarys[ifaranga rikoreshwa muri iki gihugu (hagati y’amaeuro 715 na 3.500].
Umwuga w’uburaya ndetse n’ubukerarugendo bugamije ubusambanyi bwatangiye kuri iki kirwa cya Madagascar mu myaka ya 1990.
Buterwa n’ubukene bukabije, aho ngo usanga ababyeyi babura ubushobozi bwo gutunga abana babo bakabareka bakajya kwirwanaho muri abo banyaburayi bababona nka manu imanutse mu ijuru.

Usohokanye bwa mbere n’umukobwa mukundana wakwitwara ute?

Hari gihe ushobora kuba uri umusore mwiza ariko ikintu cyo gutereta cyarakwihishe ndetse utajya unamenya uburyo wakwitwara mu gihe wasohokanye inkumi. Ugasanga niba umusohakanye rimwe ntazemere ko musubirayo kubera uburyo wabyitwayemo. Muri iyi nkuru uraza kubona bumwe mu buryo bwa gufasha kwitwara neza igihe wasohokanye umukobwa maze ukamusigira inyota yo guhora ashaka kuganira nawe no gusohokana nawe.
1. Ugomba kureka umukobwa akihitiramo ahantu ashaka gusohokera
Ni byiza ko mu gihe ugiye gusohokana umukobwa bwa mbere umuha amahirwe cyangwa se umwanya wo kwihitiramo ahantu heza yumva haza kumunyura mu gihe muba muri kuganira. Nutamuha umwanya rero ngo nawe yihitiremo aho ashaka, ashobora kutanyurwa dore ko ngo abagore cyangwa abakobwa baba bazi guhitamo ahantu hari buze gutuma baryoherwa n’ikiganiro. Urumva ko utabikoze intambwe ya mbere yaba yamaze kugutsinda.
2. Mu gihe muganira mureke nawe agire icyo avuga
Hari abasore basohokana abakobwa bakiharira ijambo nkaho barimo gutanga isomo cyangwa ikiganiro. Ibi sibyo kandi si byiza, habe na mba. Niba wa sohokanye umukobwa urimo gutereta ugomba kugerageza nawe ukamuha umwanya mu kiganiro akumva ko muri kumwe. Mu gihe bitabaye ibyo uzatuma arambirwa vuba ndetse n’ibyo urimo kuvuga nta gaciro azabiha.
3 . Ugomba kumuhanga amaso
Abasore benshi ntibazi kureba mu maso h’abakobwa batereta cyangwa barimo gutereta. Usanga ahubwo barimo guhuzagurika bareba hirya no hino aho kureba uwo bari kumwe. Menya ko uri mu ntangiriro zo gutereta umukobwa ntaragukunda neza icyongeyeho ni nabwo bwa mbere umusohokanye, ubwo rero nutangira ku mwereka ikinyabupfura gike no guhuzagurika utamureba mu maso azatangira kubona ko nta kigenda cyawe.
Ugomba kumwereka ko umwanya wose ari uwe , umureba umwitegereza , umusekeramo gake , umuganiriza, ukirinda kwitaba amatelefone ya buri kanya no kuyikandagura nk’aho utazi icyakuzanye. Ikindi irinde guhaguruka buri kanya no guhuragura amagambo cyangwa se ngo uvuge ibintu biterekeranye.
4. Mubaze ikintu ari bufate
Niba mugeze ahantu mwasohokeye nko muri hoteli, akabari cyangwa se ahantu hari ubusitani bwiza reka umukobwa yisabire icyo ashaka aho gutangira kumusabira icyo afata. Ni byo koko ushobora kuba wumva ibyo umusabiye biryoshye cyangwa ari byo abantu benshi bakunda, ariko menya ko hari igihe wabikora gutyo ugasanga we ntabikunda na gato kandi kubera ko ari bwo bwa mbere mu sohokanye ashobora kugira isoni zo kuvugako ibyumusabiye atabikunda. Ugomba kumureka rero akihitiramo ikintu ashaka yaba icyo kunywa cyangwa kurya kuko burya niwe uba azi icyo akunda na cyane ko wowe uba utaramenya ibyo akunda n’ibyo yanga.
5. Gerageza umuhindurire mu biganiro
Nta mpamvu yo kwibanda ku kintu kimwe mu gihe urimo kuganiriza umuntu. Shaka ingingo zitandukanye umuganirizaho. Ikindi kandi nta ni mpamvu yo gutinda ku kintu keretse iyo ubona icyo kiganiro cyamuryohoye. Aha ubibwirwa n’uko urimo kumureba mu maso, ukamenya uburyo arimo kwakira ibyo umubwira. Si byiza rero kumureka ngo abanze arambirwe ibyo urimo kuvuga.
Niba mwamaze kwibwirana nta mpamvu yo gukomeza kwivugaho uvuga ibigwi byawe. Ushobora kuba uri umugabo w’ibikorwa ariko si ngombwa ko ubimubwirira rimwe ku munsi wa mbere ashobora gutaha atekerezako washatse kumwiyemeraho no kumwereka ko ukomeye; mbese ko washatse “kumwemeza” kandi ibi si byiza na gato.

Ibintu bishobora kukwereka ko umukunzi wawe asigaye aguca inyuma

Abantu bamaze igihe bakundana, baba basigaye baziranye ku buryo umwe iyo yahindutse gato, undi (niba abyitayeho) ashobora guhita abibona. Mu butumwa bwinshi twagiye twakira bwoherejwe n’abakunzi ndetse n’abasomyi b’Igitondo, basabaga kumenya bimwe mu bintu bishobora kukwereka ko umukunzi wawe asigaye aguca inyuma, gusa birashoboka ko ibyo muri iyi nkuru atari ko bigaragaramo byose, ariko ibyinshi bikubiyemo.
Ubundi umugabo n’umugore baba basa n’aho ari umuntu umwe, yaba ari mu buryo bufatika, yaba ari mu mitekerereze n’ibindi; ibi ariko bigahinduka iyo umwe muri bo atangiye kugira ka kageso ko guca mugenzi we inyuma.
Dore bimwe mu bimenyetso bishobora kukwereka ko umukunzi wawe asigaye aguca inyuma:
  Niba umukunzi wawe atangiye kugira umuco wo kuguca inyuma, akenshi uzasanga muri telefoni ye yatangiye kugenda ashyiramo code (akajambo k’ibanga) ku buryo nta wundi muntu ushobora gusoma message zirimo cyangwa kureba uwamuhamagaye. Aha rero aba asa n’utangiye kwikeka, ko ibyo arimo gukora bizamenyekana.
  Ikindi rero, ni ukuntu aba asigaye kenshi asa n’aho kwitaba telefoni ahantu hari abandi bantu cyane cyane umukunzi we bimugoye. Usanga kenshi ajya kwitabira hanze, muri douche, agatinda kuri telefoni,..
  Ashobora no kugaragaza ibimenyetso nko kuba usigaye umuhamagara kenshi ntakwitabe kandi ubizi ko nta nama cyangwa akazi kenshi afite muri iyo minsi.
  Atangira kandi gufungura izindi emails udasanzwe uzi, niba hari n’iyo wari usanzwe uzi na password yayo agerageza kuyihindura kugira ngo hatazagira icyo ubona muri mails ze.
  Ahandi ushobora kurebera n’iyo nk’umwe mu bakundana usanga iyo undi yamaraga amasaha nibura nk’abiri nta telefoni y’umukunzi we iramugeraho, wasangaga byamubabaje cyane, ariko ubu ukaba usanga yamuhamagara, atamuhamagara byose bisa n’aho ari kimwe, ibyo nabyo byerekana ko wa mwanya yamuhaga ubu hari undi asigaye yarawuhariye ku buryo bisa n’aho ntacyo bimutwaye cyane yaba abonetse cyangwa atabonetse.
  Ikindi kintu gisa n’aho ari gito, ariko usanga rimwe na rimwe ingo nyinshi cyangwa abakundana benshi bagishwanira, ni ikintu cy’amazina abakundaba bitana: chou(e), cheri(e), sweetheart, baby, honey, mon Coeur, mon amour, tresor, … Hari igihe rero usanga kenshi muri couple mufite amazina muziranyeho mwitana, rimwe na rimwe rero kuko umwe muri mwe asigaye yigira mu bandi, ugasanga atangiye kwadukana izina uwo wundi amwita, ku buryo yisanga ari ryo asigaye yita umukunze we. Akenshi rero iyo umukunzi we azi gushishoza ahita amenya ko hari ahandi yarikuye bitewe n’ubundi n’uko amaze iminsi yitwara n’uko babanye.
  Ku bantu bashishoza cyane, ushobora kumva umuhumuro wa parfum(cyane cyane ku bagabo) utandukanye n’ uwo usanzwe umuziho.
  Hari n’igihe akenshi cyane cyane ku bantu bashakanye usanga niba mwari mumenyereye ko nibura mutera akabariro nka gatatu mu cyumweru, ugasanga n’ibyumweru bibiri bishize ntacyo mwibwira, ukabona rwose ntabyitayeho cyane,… nabyo bishobora kukwereka ko asigaye afite ahandi ahugira ku buryo rwose atakibishidukira cyane.

  Ikindi niba hari umwanya yajyaga agenera urugo ubu arasa n’utakiwufite, za mission z’akazi za hato na hato, week end akazi karakomeza, kageza ninjoro, … nyine mu buryo wumva bias n’ibidasanzwe.
  Amafaranga yinjiraga mu rugo atangira kugabanuka ku buryo bugaragara; niba musanzwe mufite uburyo bwo guhana amakuru ku byerekeranye n’ikoreshwa ry’amafaranga yanyu mwembi birahagarara
  Usanga kandi atangira guhindura imico, ukabona arasa n’aho ari umuntu mushya utari uwo usanzwe uzi.
  Nta hantu agishaka ko mujyana, kandi mbere yarishimiraga cyane kugendana nawe, agufashe ukuboko.
  Usanga kandi atangira kugenda asa n’utagishishikajwe n’ibyo mu rugo; niba mwubatse mufitanye n’abana, ibyo kwita ku masabukuru yabo no kuba ari mu rugo mu munsi mukuru wabo ugasanga byaragabanutse.
  Inshuti zanyu mwembi, zitangira kugenda zikwishisha, wenda kuko zizi uburyo aguca inyuma ariko zikabura uko zikubwira ngo zitarusenya…
  Usanga kenshi abo bantu baca inyuma abakunzi babo batishimira na gato kumva ibiganiro bijyanye n’abagabo/abagore baca inyuma abafasha babo, ahubwo ugasanga arimo kubaburanira cyane,…
  Aha kandi usanga akenshi asigaye akunda gutinda kuri computer cyane wagiye kuryama, akenshi kubera ko yahanye gahunda n’undi ngo bahurire kuri chat.
  Kenshi muri telefoni ye uzasanga ari telefoni zamuhamagaye ari izo we yahamagaye, ari ubutumwa yabonye n’ubwo yohereje byose abisiba, ku buryo ushobora kwibaza niba iyo telefoni ikoreshwa bikakuyobera.
  Ikindi kandi ni uko akenshi usanga asa n’utakishimiye cyane ko umwerekana mu bantu b’inshuti zawe, niba umusabye ko hari aho mujyana agatangira kukubaza ibibazo byinshi, ni he, ni bantu ki? Mwamenyaniye he?... n’ibindi byinshi kuko aba afite ubwoba ko ashobora gusanga ari abantu bahuriye ahandi cyangwa bamuzi n’ingeso ze.
Ibi rero ni bimwe mu bintu bishobora kukwereka ko umukunzi wawe yadukanye ingeso yo kuguca inyuma, gusa nk’uko mu gutangira nabikubwiye siko tubivuzeho byose, kimwe n’uko ushobora no gusanga hari ababikora ariko ntibahindure n’ikintu na kimwe mu myitwarire bari basanganywe. Abantu baratandukana bityo n’ibyo bakora bigatandukana.
Gusa aho bihurira n’uko twese turi abantu kandi dufite imitima, uko waba umeze kose iyo urimo